My tears turn into sobs as everything becomes too much, too heavy, like this rosary around my neck. Like his hands are still around it.

“Christ, get a grip,” he snaps.

“Fuck you,” I tell him but it doesn’t have the force I want, not when said through the sobs. But I think for a minute I shouldn’t have said that. I think he’ll come back in here. Punish me again. I don’t think my body can take any more. Not tonight.

But he doesn’t. Instead, his lips just curve upward, a skull on one side the monster on the other and I feel my shoulders slump, my body curl in around itself as I cringe away a little.

“You belong to me.”

“I don’t.” He’s right though. In our world, I do belong to him.

“Do you understand what that means for you?” he asks as if I haven’t said anything.

I don’t reply. I don’t know how.

He shakes his head, gives a little snort like he’s bored. “You’re weak, Ivy. And you’d better toughen up because you’re going to need all your strength to survive me.”

17

Ivy

“Miss.”

I groan as I start to wake up, every inch of my body sore, the worst of it between my legs.

A woman clears her throat. “Miss.”

I open my eyes. The room slowly comes into view. Black walls. No, not black. Dark, carved wood. A small square of light high up.

“Miss, I’m sorry to wake you.”

I turn, look at the older woman in a uniform standing on the other side of the bed. There’s another one, a younger one, standing just inside the door. I take in the bed, the bloodied sheet half pulled off one corner of the mattress. The thick blanket heavy as I draw it up to cover myself and sit up a little, wincing and very aware of the fact that I’m still naked.

“I need the sheets, Miss. It’ll just take us a minute to put clean ones on.”

I clear my throat, wipe my face and glance around for a clock. “What time is it?”

“Nine o’clock, Miss.”

I look back at the woman. She must think me an idiot. “Where is the bathroom?”

She points. I notice the other girl trying to act like she’s not looking at me.

“I just need one minute,” I say, hoping they’ll get the hint and leave so I can make it to the bathroom without having to run across the room naked.

“That’s fine, Miss,” the older one says and turns. She waves the other girl out.

I take a minute to sit up, still too tired from last night. I try to remember the last time I ate something but can’t.

“Are you all right?” the older woman asks.