When she reaches down to squeeze my hand, I don't stop her. It reminds me of when I was a boy, how so often it was Antonia who looked after me. She tended to my wounds, and helped me with my homework, and taught me how to ride a bicycle and tie my shoes. She has always been there, more of a parent than my own in many ways. I have not given her adequate respect for that role. For the sacrifices she has made to work for my family for as long as she has, forgoing a family of her own. Dreams of her own.

"You are always here when I need you," I croak. "I don't suppose I have ever thanked you for it."

"You have thanked me," she answers warmly. "In the ways you knew how. You have never been just an employer to me, Santiago. I think you should know by now, I love you as a mother would love her own son."

A fresh wave of emotions chokes any response I might offer, so I simply nod, which she accepts with understanding and grace. It is twice now someone has offered their expressions of affection for me. It is a strange new world I find myself living in.

"Antonia?" I say after a few moments, when I've collected myself enough to speak.

"Yes?"

"Does love go away?"

Her eyes crinkle at the edges as she considers it. "Why would it?"

I turn my focus back to the floor, studying the shards of glass. "What if you wanted to protect someone, but to do so means to hurt them?"

She is quiet, her presence reassuring, even though I know she couldn’t possibly have the answers I need. Not until she turns to look at me, determination steeling her features as I've never seen.

"If it's real, pure, and true, Santiago, love will never go away."

24

Ivy

Santiago is distant. He’s here, physically, and I understand the weight he is carrying. He eats meals with me. He sleeps in our bed. Or at least he lies beside me until I fall asleep because by the time I wake in the morning, his side of the bed is empty, his pillow cold.

Eva spends her days with a tutor. I spend mine with Antonia in the kitchen baking now and again or swimming when Eva can join me. Santiago finally allowed for that. I still do the exercises Dr. Hendrickson taught me, but I know the balance issues are amplified by anxiety now than anything else.

And I am anxious.