Eva cranes her neck to look up at him, giving him a little wave, which he returns before he takes a seat beside her.

"Eva, I have some business to take care of.” I nod at her.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." She tugs the piece of paper from the pad and folds it up, placing it in her pocket. "I'll go wander the house and find something else to do."

"Go to the kitchen if you'd like," I suggest. "Ask Antonia for one of her famous sundaes. But just this once."

"Really?" She perks up.

"Yes. Really."

Marco is grinning at me like an idiot when I shake my head.

"I think this house needs a few kids running through the halls. Brings it to life," he remarks.

I nod stiffly, hoping he can't see the terror that's slowly beginning to sink in. It was always a given that I would do my duty and have heirs, and since Ivy has been here, that's been my goal. But now it's real. Now that I seem to be reminded of it at every turn by a child in my midst, I can't stop doubting my abilities as a father.

"What is it like?" I ask.

Marco blinks at me slowly, trying to comprehend the question. I'm about to tell him to forget it when it occurs to him.

"Being a father?"

I nod, wishing I never mentioned it.

He brushes a hand over his stubble and sighs. "Honestly? It's fucking terrifying." A laugh bursts from his lips as he shakes his head and then smiles. "But it's the best thing I've ever done. I'm always thinking about them. Wondering if I'm doing enough. If they are safe at home. What they are doing when I'm at work. They never leave my mind. You can’t even imagine half the scenarios that will go through your head… all the questions you’ll have about whether you are doing it right. You’ll never stop thinking about it."

His answer isn't what I expected, and I can't wrap my head around it. Surely, that isn't the case for every man. He must be an anomaly. My own father never seemed to think of us except when we did not perform to his standards.

But I won't be that way, will I?

I feel a headache starting to form at the base of my skull. Right now, the only thing I know for certain is that Ivy will be here to help me muddle through the process. Between her and Antonia, I suppose they will not even need me around very much. Yet I think I would like to be around. But will I just get in the way?

"Boss?" Marco is staring at me, and I realize I haven't responded.

"Yes, you came to tell me about the progress on Abel." I force myself to focus on the present clusterfuck. One problem at a time.