I give it a few minutes after she’s gone before I get up. I tuck the heavy rosary under the black slip. The stones of the thing are cold against my bare skin, and I pull on a sweater. I don’t want to run into the staff and have them see it around my neck. It will only reaffirm his dominance over me. It’s humiliating enough to submit to him, but to have them all know it? Well, I don’t think I could handle that.

I searched for a phone during the day, but there doesn’t seem to be one anywhere. It’s not unusual not to have a landline, though. I found the pool too, and it took all I had not to just slip right in and swim. It’s beautiful. Twice the size of the one at my parents’ house with two-story-high glass ceilings and walls and tiny little turquoise and gold tiles as far as the eye can see.

I’d swim if I was sure I wouldn’t get caught. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m afraid of what he’d do if he did catch me. I have a feeling even if no one reported back, he’d smell the chlorine on me somehow, even if I scrubbed my skin raw.

The conversation last night about Hazel still has me rattled. And his comment about my dad not really ever searching for her, is that true? Why? Or was he somehow protecting her from The Society?

And now I’m wondering if Santiago himself is looking for her. Does he care enough to bring her back to be punished? Why? He used to be like a son to my father. Does he realize that, I wonder? Surely, he wouldn’t do anything to cause my father pain. Right?

I step out into the hallway and turn toward the stairs that lead down to the first floor and back to the large and well-stocked library, which just happens to be near his study. I only know that because I’d been in the library when I’d overheard Antonia tell one of the maids she wasn’t allowed to be in that part of the house and to clear out.

So I make my way toward the dark corridor with the double doors at the end that lead to the library. I feel my heart race and keep glancing over my shoulder, but all is quiet.

And I’m not doing anything wrong. Yet.

If anyone asks, I’m just going to get a book and read. I’m allowed in here.