And there were little things too, like his dad. Obviously, Beau was intimidated by his father, so I could only imagine what Dr. Watson thought of Beau skipping out in the middle of the night to come to my rescue at the hospital.

There were serious differences in our two worlds. I didn’t know if he would think bridging that gap was worth it. I didn’t even know if I wanted to bridge that gap myself.

So I chose to focus on homework and being with my family instead, responding to Melissa and Nina’s messages just enough to let it be known I was alive and—relatively—okay. Everything else could wait.

Returning to school the Monday after Thanksgiving break came with a massive load of butterflies in my stomach I couldn’t get rid of. My palms were sweaty at the thought of walking into AP Statistics and seeing Beau for the first time since that night in the hospital. But I shoved back the apprehension I felt—pushing it to the place where I could now stow away my new fears about becoming a respiratory therapist.

I kept the events of Thanksgiving break to myself, not filling Kathleen in on anything that happened, pretending like everything was normal. It felt a little like lying, telling Kathleen I was just fine, but as it was going to be my scripted response to anyone else that asked, I might as well get used to it.

Most everyone was seated in AP Statistics when Kathleen and I entered the classroom. I took my regular seat in front of Beau like nothing had changed over break, pulling out my textbook and homework assignments.

The tap on my shoulder came shortly before Mrs. Richardson began the day’s lesson.

I felt something suspiciously like guilt when I turned around to look at Beau and saw the concern etched across his face. I’d ignored him all break when I knew he only wanted to see if I was doing all right.

WHAT’S UP? I signed nervously.

“. . . okay?” Beau said, and he leaned toward me, his hand outstretched as if to touch my hand. I might’ve wanted him to.

FINE, I signed back quickly. SORRY. TIRED.

Beau nodded, but it didn’t seem like he was buying my excuse. I suspected it wouldn’t be too long before he was asking me that question again.

And it came when we were sitting across from each other at our normal table in the cafeteria at lunch, another simple, YOU OK?

YES, FINE, I signed back for what seemed to be the thousandth time.

Both Nina and Kathleen asked me the same thing.

YOUR BROTHER? Beau signed to me next.

I hesitantly signed, BETTER.