DON’T UNDERSTAND? I signed after a failed attempt at piecing together what he just said.

I had no idea what a boulder had to do with anything.

Beau stuck a hand in his backpack, did some rummaging around, and came up with a folded letter. I did a quick scan of the letter, a formal document from a college in Boulder. I recognized it as the same college Nina applied to. It wasn’t a surprise Beau was accepted, but I wasn’t sure why he felt this was the appropriate moment to share the news with me.

OK, I signed when I passed the letter back to him. GOOD FOR YOU.

I could see Beau must’ve been short of breath with the heavy rise and fall of his chest. He shoved the letter back in his backpack. When his gaze met mine again, he said, “. . . applied after . . . talk that night . . . wanted . . . know . . . could do something else.”

WHAT? I signed, so taken aback by that statement I felt my eyebrows shooting up my forehead in surprise.

Beau settled for signing, I TELL MY FATHER I DON’T WANT MEDICINE DEGREE.

“. . . not what . . . want,” he said aloud, resting a hand against his chest. “. . . want English degree.”

I said, “Oh,” instead of keeping my voice turned off like I’d intended.

I was still angry and hurt about Saturday’s events with the cochlear implant brochure and I couldn’t see myself getting over that anytime soon. But I couldn’t help but feel proud of Beau anyway.

“Where is this coming from?” I said, knowing I wouldn’t be able to come up with any signs on the spot. “Why are you telling me this?”

Then I shook my head. I did want to know what was going on with Beau, but first I needed to tell him what was going on with me.

WAIT, PLEASE, I signed, holding up one finger. BEFORE YOU START, I WANT . . .

What did I want exactly?

I NOT CHANGE MYSELF, I signed after a moment’s hesitation. NO CI. HAVE ME DEAF . . .

“Or not at all,” I finished.

It didn’t matter so much to me anymore that Beau was hearing. That wasn’t the problem here. The problem was that he’d thought I wanted a CI just because I had one bad interview experience and some complications with finding an interpreter for college. That did not mean I needed to give up. If Beau somehow thought I couldn’t do that or that a CI was the answer to all my problems—to be hearing again—then I was prepared to walk away right now and not look back. It would be painful, but I couldn’t betray myself like that.