Apparently, she couldn’t come up with the appropriate sign to describe what I looked like, so she settled for saying, “. . . off.”

I looked back and forth between Nina and Beau as Beau took a seat across the table from me too, debating telling them what happened yesterday. I mean, they were my friends. Okay, maybe Beau was a little more than just a friend. But they still might not understand exactly how devastating the news was, and I wasn’t in the mood for false cheer. In the end, I explained what happened at the Disability Resource Office yesterday, trying not to get emotional about it all over again.

SORRY, Beau and Nina signed in unison when I finished my story.

“. . . seems like they . . . find . . . interpreter,” Nina continued, resting her chin in her hands. “. . . just take time.”

I KNOW, I signed, exhaling heavily. “But . . . is it so bad that for once in my life I just want things to work out?”

“What do . . . mean?” Beau asked with a frown.

I started tapping out a beat on the tabletop with my fingers, trying to formulate my thoughts into something that would make sense.

“Ever since I lost my hearing I’ve had to put in ten times the amount of effort just to keep on top of things, you know? Like in school and pretty much every other aspect of my life. I mean, I honestly worried I wasn’t going to get into college because I’m Deaf. And now this? I mean, I wouldn’t change anything about my life, but can’t I just have this one simple thing?”

I THINK . . . Beau started to sign hesitantly, UNDERSTAND.

“You do?” I said, feeling a bit skeptical. Wasn’t like he’d run into this situation before.

Beau signed, YES, and glanced over at Nina for backup.

Nina took her time responding.

“. . . think . . . will . . . worth . . . wait,” she said, putting on a smile. “Hard work pays . . .”

“Yeah, maybe,” I said, that feeling of defeat working its way through me again. I cared about my friends, I really did, and I knew they cared about me too, but they weren’t helping right now.

HEY, Beau signed to get my attention. OK?

The earnest and concerned look on his face was so endearing I couldn’t keep the tiny smile from tugging at my lips.

FINE, I signed, and this time I kind of meant it.

Beau broke out into a grin too and reached across the table to curl his hand around my own.

“. . . know . . . adore each other,” Nina said with a pretend-exasperated expression. “But let’s . . . about something happier . . . like Maya’s . . .”

“My what?” I said in confusion.

BIRTHDAY, Beau signed for me. SOON, RIGHT?

I felt caught off guard at the mention of my birthday because I’d honestly forgotten it was coming up. There were a few more important things on my plate at the moment besides my eighteenth birthday.