Then it occurred to me exactly what my place in this family was, and had always been. In spite of my wisecracking, pain-in-the-neck ways, I was the clip that held things together. Unnoticed. Taken for granted. Okay, maybe I’m giving myself too much credit here, but I’d be damned if I was gonna keep on being the family paper clip.

“You gonna answer us or not?”

“You want the truth?” I asked.

“Yes, of course.”

“Okay, then. Dad makes the best fra diavolo sauce.”

Stunned silence from the both of them. They hadn’t wanted the truth. We all knew it. Suddenly I wasn’t playing by the rules. “And come to think of it, his alfredo sauce rocks, too. What else do you want to know?”

Dad put his hand to his head like he had a headache. “That’s enough, Anthony.”

Mom nodded and pursed her lips into a thin red line. “Okay,” she said. “Okay, that settles it, then.” I didn’t like the calmness of her voice. She walked over to the range, took the big pot of sauce she had made, and in one smooth motion dumped it down the drain. A cloud of steam rose and curled like a hydrogen bomb had gone off in the sink.

“You make dinner, Joe.” She stormed out of the house, leaving us all in nuclear winter. Once she was gone, Frankie pulled me aside and glared at me. “You see what you did?”

Dad did cook us dinner that night. He had to go to the grocery store to get his ingredients, so dinner wasn’t ready until nine. He made us veal rollatini, better than you’d get in the best Italian restaurants. We all ate and said nothing to one another. Not a thing, not even “pass the salt,” because it didn’t need salt. It was, at the same time, the best and the worst meal I had ever sat down to.

When it was done, we all did our own dishes and left the kitchen spotless. Dad made a plate of leftovers and put it in the fridge. I knew it was for Mom, but he wouldn’t say it.

Frankie and Christina went to their rooms, but I hung around in the kitchen a bit more while Dad cleaned the pots.

The clip is gone, I thought. The pages are flying like confetti. What a moron I am.

“So what happens now?” I asked.

“I don’t know, Antsy.”

The fact that he didn’t know scared me more than anything else that night. Was our family so fragile that this could tear the foundations loose?

“It seems like such a little thing,” I said.

“The biggest things always seem like small things,” he told me.