“You read too many books. Go see some movies. In the movies invisible guys never get the girl. Instead they usually turn evil and die horrible, painful deaths.”

“Not always,” he said.

“Always. And besides, you’re only half invisible, so, I dunno, maybe you should look for a girl who’s blind in one eye.”

He punched me hard in the arm, and I punched him back, matching his force. We both refused to rub our aching arms, even though they hurt. For a second I wondered whether this would swell into a full-on fight.

“Hey,” I said, “Lexie does what she wants—and besides, I was the one Crawley hired to hang with her, not you.”

“But, but . . .” The Schwa’s mouth was opening and closing like a goldfish. “But she said I’m sweet-cream . . .”

“Big deal. I’m Italian gelato, and there’s only room for one scoop on the cone.” Which technically isn’t true, but he got the point.

Then the Schwa invokes the friendship clause.

“Antsy, you’re my best friend,” he says. “I’m asking you as a friend. Please . . .”

Like I said, I was in hot water, because whether I like it or not, I got a conscience. But I also got a selfish streak, and once in a while it kicks in before the water starts to boil.

“Forget it,” I told him.

Then Mr. Schwa burst happily into the room. “Okay, boys, lunch is ready. It’s franks and beans!”

He left, never noticing our argument, or the paper clips on the floor. I knelt down to pick up the bags of clips. “Do these go in any order?”

“Put them in any way you want.” He left for the kitchen, letting me pick up all the clips.

We didn’t talk much over lunch, and said nothing about Lexie. The Schwa cleaned his plate, but if you ask me, he looked like a man eating his last meal.

The Schwa was not giving up. For a guy famous for not being noticed, he was suddenly everywhere. Somehow he managed to walk Crawley’s dogs three at a time without being dragged down the street like a human dogsled. That meant he was done with the job quick enough to barge in on anything Lexie and I were doing.

I was coming up with all this clever stuff to do with her—it amazed me how clever I could be when a girl was involved. It actually gave me hope that maybe I had latent superintelligence that was activated by girls, like the way the Incredible Hulk was activated by anger.

One afternoon, I had this bright idea of playing “Name That Texture,” which consisted of us challenging each other to identify unusual objects just by feeling them.

“In school we do a lot of tactile learning,” she warned me. “I know the whole world by touch.”