‘Do you mind if I swap seats and sit opposite you?’ I asked. ‘I think it makes for a better chat.’

‘Absolutely not, all the better to drink in your shameless beauty.’

I shifted to the seat opposite him so that my camera had the best chance of catching the action. It was also a relief not to have Tommy directly in my vision.

‘Ah, that’s better. So, have you just popped in here for a quickie before you head home?’ I enquired with an interested look on my face.

‘A quickie would suit me just fine, ha ha ha, but no, I’m out for the night. I work hard and I play hard. Some people think because you’re not doing physical work that it can’t possibly be exhausting, but it is. I shifted millions of pounds of currency between large pension portfolios today and the pressure of those decisions literally bleeds you dry. So, yeah, I’m out for the night, abso-bloody-lutely yah. Fuck it.’

‘Do you live in this neck of the woods?’

‘Not a chance. Bloody shithole. I live out in the sticks near Reigate.’ (He didn’t. He lived just up the road in Kennington.) ‘Live on my own. The wife died of the big C a couple of years ago.’ (She didn’t. She ran a 10K last weekend.) ‘No kids, sadly. Would have been a great legacy.’ (He had two children aged three and five, neither of them looked like him.) ‘So, no, I don’t live in this neck of the woods, but when I have to be here for work I stay at a little bijou hotel near the Elephant and Castle.’ (It’s called the Grand Saffron, forty-four quid a night, no TV, no mini bar and no pillow chocolates.) ‘I do get lonely, though, so having your company tonight is really special for me.’

He reached out and gave my hand a squeeze. I had to hope that Tommy was remaining calm. I was enjoying this challenge. I was enjoying punishing The Chump.

‘What about you?’ he asked. ‘You local? You got a lucky fella to keep you warm and sated?’

‘No, I haven’t had a relationship for years. Well, apart from with my cat and occasionally the cat’s vet.’

‘You have a veterinary friend, how fabulous. I love vets. They get themselves very involved with animals and I adore animals. I have a couple of cats at home – a ginger one and a not-so-ginger one.’ (They had no pets. He hated animals. It was one of the reasons his wife mistrusted him.)

‘No, I don’t have a relationship with the vet. I just see him from time to time when I have to take the cat in for her injections. It was a joke.’