By now, the noises I had so successfully filtered out were an incessant assault upon my ears. The helicopter rotors, the sirens, the animal shrieks, the shouts, the voices. I closed my eyes against the counter-point flashing of red and blue as every sense went into overload. It was only when I felt the cool vinyl of the seat beneath me and heard the click of the car door closing beside me, shutting out the world, that I found the ability to breathe.

Smithy must have sensed my need to be left alone. He didn’t say a word as he slid into the driver’s seat and drove me away. The police radio crackled rapid-fire orders and updates until he reached over and turned it off. Then there was no siren, no speech, just the murmur of the engine and hum of rubber on tarmac. He slowed down as we passed the point where the ambulance was attending to Terry Bennett. I caught a fleeting glimpse of a form on a gurney, sheet pulled up and over its head before the tears flowed again.

32

The polystyrene cup contained a hit of coffee sweet enough to make my face twitch. Even so, I could only just feel the benefits of the caffeine infusing its way through my system. A gin would have been more helpful. My head was a jumble of flashbacks: ear-shattering gunfire, the metallic smell of blood intermingled with the acrid stench of burning plastic, the mountain of enraged flesh bearing down upon me, the shockwave up my legs as her bulk hit the asphalt, the flashing lights of the emergency vehicles, the thrum of rotor blades. A continuous assault of images strobed through my mind. Closing my eyes to them made it worse, so instead I stared out the window, trying to blot them out with the stream of morning rush-hour traffic and pedestrians swarming like ants below me. Life ground on as normal for so many; most were oblivious to the devastating and downright bizarre start to this day.

Smithy had dropped me off here earlier before returning to the scene. Now I could hear the movement and rustlings of my fellow detectives as they came into the office. Word must have filtered through as thus far they had skirted around and left me be. The enormity of what I’d just done was dawning and a maelstrom of emotions was threatening to explode. I took another large breath and started counting cars again in a futile attempt to blot out the playback.

Four sets of feet had entered the room so far and I could hear another approach, and fast. It was funny how you could recognise someone by the cadence of their walk.