Once we were a safe distance along the corridor, she spun around and got started. Mum was a shorty, like me. In fact, she was one of the few people I knew who I could talk to at eye level. But where her altitude may have equalled mine, the attitude was poles apart and she took great pains to let me know my station in life and how great a disappointment I was for her. She gave new meaning to the term battleaxe and made Boadicea look like a big girls’ blouse. ‘You shouldn’t say things like that, Samantha. What if he’s really sick? How would you feel then, making light of everything?’

‘Well, is he? Is he really sick?’

‘That’s what we’re here to find out. They don’t fly people from here to there for nothing you know. They must be concerned about something.’

‘What have they told you?’

‘They want to do more tests on his heart. But they also want to do an MRI scan on him. They’re concerned something else is putting pressure on it, so want to check his whole chest.’

‘What makes them think that?’

‘I don’t know. Sheryl explained it to me, but I can’t recall all the details. I wish she’d been able to come over, but she couldn’t get anyone to look after the kids. She’d have been a great comfort for us all.’

Because I wasn’t?

‘Where do I go to give the nursing staff my number?’ I asked, changing tack before I got to hear of Sheryl’s many virtues and get pinged some more.

‘Oh, they’ve already got it. I just needed to have a word with you, alone.’ That sounded ominous. ‘Look, I didn’t want to upset your dad, so I haven’t told him about you killing that elephant. He knows nothing about it.’ She made it sound so premeditated. ‘The last thing he needs right now is to hear about your latest escapade. I guess I’ve got used to you not wanting to tell me about these things by now. But your father would be really hurt if he knew you’d excluded us again.’

Oh, Jesus, she knew exactly where to punch. Any debate was pointless. She was the queen of pique and I didn’t think there was anything I could ever do that would win her seal of approval. Even if I gave it all up to dedicate my life to saving AIDS orphans in Rwanda, she’d find fault, or tell me how Saint Sheryl would do it better. The chance of getting any sympathy for my misadventures was zip.

I tried to change the subject before she let loose with another barb.