‘Really? If it is, it’s having an identity crisis. And as for this other stuff,’ he said, poking at some greens with a fork. ‘None of this limp-salad-and-orange-juice business. What the hell would I want with salad? Salad is for rabbits. That kind of diet will only make you sick.’

‘Glad to see there’s some fight left in the old boy. How are you anyway? What’s up with all this attention-seeking behaviour?’ I asked, indicating the array of hardware he was attached to. The lovely thing about Dad was you could be direct. He didn’t go for tiptoeing around the facts. No games, no bullshit, unlike someone else in the family.

‘You want to know the truth,’ he said quietly while looking around to check the coast was clear. He leaned forward and reached up to pull me close. Even at sixty-five he was a large and fit man, although, he did look a bit thinner than when I’d last seen him. I could see his abdominal muscles tighten as he sat up. When I had bent down near enough, he whispered in my ear. ‘I’m just doing it to annoy your mum.’ We both enjoyed a good laugh before the devil herself entered the room.

‘What’s so funny?’

‘Dad told me he had three days to live and he wanted his ashes to be blasted into space like that guy from Star Trek.’ We both laughed all the more, while Mum stood there, not so amused. She was what people described as a handsome woman, and having filled out slightly with age, she was a stocky, handsome woman. I did wish she’d upgrade her wardrobe, or at least go buy some Trinny and Susannah books to try and be a modern, stocky, handsome woman.

‘Samantha, don’t be so crass,’ she said, hands on hips. ‘You don’t make jokes about that kind of thing.’ The woman really needed to go buy herself a sense of humour too. One look at Dad told me it wasn’t so bad; he wasn’t about to drop dead. And he plainly thought he was okay, so that was the most important thing.

‘Can you come down with me to the nurses’ station, they want your cellphone number or something.’ She grabbed me by the arm and escorted me out of the room. I blew Dad a kiss on the way out the door.