But this time, it looked like she’d landed herself a winner. Her fiancé, Steve, was a true sweetheart, an attorney who worked pro bono for poor people. As far as attorneys went, he was a pussycat among piranhas.

I should have been happy for Kandi. And I was. Really. It’s just that I couldn’t help feeling a tad abandoned. I hardly ever saw her for dinner any more, and when I did Steve usually came with us. By the end of the evening I could practically feel them fondling each other’s thighs under the table, putting me very much in the Fifth Wheel category. Which is why I was pleased and happily surprised earlier that day when Kandi called and asked me to have dinner, just the two of us. It would be nice, I thought, to have her all to myself for a change.

Back home, I found my cat Prozac asleep on the sofa, in the exact same position I’d left her six hours ago. Sometimes I think that cat was a statue in a former life.

“Hi, pumpkin. I’m home!”

The little darling jumped off the sofa and came racing to my side, rubbing my ankles with vibrating purrs of love.

Okay, so she didn’t really do that. She pried open one eye, yawned a yawn the size of the Grand Canyon, then rolled over and went back to sleep.

But a cat owner can dream, can’t she?

By now, I was regretting that scoop of Chunky Monkey I’d packed away at Ben & Jerry’s. (Okay, two scoops.) So I headed to the bedroom and slipped out of my jeans and into a pair of elastic-waist pants. I was just breathing a sigh of relief when the phone rang.

A no-nonsense male voice came on the line. “Andrew Ferguson here. From Union National Bank.”

Oh, darn. I couldn’t possibly be overdrawn again, could I? Why, I just deposited a check last week. Or was it two weeks ago? I couldn’t have run through all my money already. And even if I had, the bank had a hell of a lot of nerve calling me at home and invading my privacy. Wasn’t it bad enough they socked me with a service charge every time I blinked an eye? I don’t mind admitting I was pretty steamed.

“Look, here, Mr. Ferguson. Is it always your policy to call people at home like this?”

“I guess I could’ve e-mailed you, but I wanted to get in touch with you as soon as possible.”

“If I’m overdrawn, I assure you the matter will be taken care of right away. I don’t need a personal reminder.”

“You don’t understand—”

“When I’ve got scads of money in the bank, I don’t see you calling me and thanking me, do I?”

There was a pause on the line.