Cover

Outstanding praise for Laura Levine and her Jaine Austen mysteries!

SHOES TO DIE FOR

“Laura Levine’s acerbic comedy-writing skills give a cutting edge to her series.”

—The New York Times Book Review

“You will love it…Levine is a funny lady.”

—The Kingston Observer

“A lively sense of humor and an ear for the absurd help Jaine overcome any number of setbacks and a host of fashion no-nos.”

—Kirkus Reviews

“The ideal beach read.”

—Publishers Weekly

KILLER BLONDE

“An entertaining read that will leave series followers wanting more.”

—Mystery News

“Levine’s writing is so engaging…her heroine so witty…what also works and works best is Levine’s humor.”

—The Alameda Times-Star (Alameda, California)

LAST WRITES

“Last Writes is spritely and entertaining. I commend it to the attention of anyone wishing to be entertained.”

—Robert B. Parker, New York Times bestselling author

“The wisecracks and puns again fly fast and thick.”

—Publishers Weekly

THIS PEN FOR HIRE

“Jaine has a sassy attitude and I look forward to her new adventures.”

—Deadly Pleasures

“This Pen for Hire is as much about Jaine herself as about the mystery. Fans of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series will want to check her out.”

—The Mystery Reader

“A fluffy, fun, and fast read.”

—Library Journal

“Here’s the book you should have to slip into the beach tote and peruse while prone beneath a striped umbrella.”

—Mystery Review

Books by Laura Levine

THIS PEN FOR HIRE

LAST WRITES

KILLER BLONDE

SHOES TO DIE FOR

THE PMS MURDER

DEATH BY PANTYHOSE

Published by Kensington Publishing Corporation

THE PMS MURDER

LAURA LEVINE

For Michael, Barbara, Josh, and Ben

Acknowledgments

Many thanks, as always, to my editor John Scognamiglio and my agent Evan Marshall for their invaluable guidance and support. Thanks also to Joanne Fluke for her many acts of kindness and generosity, and to my friends and family for putting up with me while I’m writing. Thanks to Hiro Kimura for his snazzy cover, and to my feline technical advisor, my cat, Mr. Guy. (If I don’t mention him somewhere in the acknowledgments, he’s impossible to live with.) A special thanks to the readers who have taken the time to write me and visit me at my book signings. And finally—for loyalty and devotion above and beyond the call of duty—thanks to my number one fan and best friend, my husband, Mark.

Chapter 1

What’s more painful than a mammogram? More excruciating than a bikini wax? More humiliating than spinach stuck to your front tooth?

Shopping for a bathing suit, of course.

There’s nothing worse. Not even a root canal. (Unless it’s a root canal in a bathing suit with spinach stuck to your front tooth.)