They helped me with my bags and I followed the two men off the train. There would be no Christmas after all, no gifts or goodbyes. My chest felt hollow at the thought I might never see my family again. Throat tight, I said, ‘Can I at least call ahead to Nowra? Mum and Dad are at the station there. I need to tell them—so I can say goodbye.’

One of the men looked at his watch but the other nodded. They drove me to a hotel in Kiama where I could place a call. The operator connected me to Nowra, where I asked the station agent to find Mum and Dad. Mum’s voice came on the phone all crackly, and my voice broke.

‘They’ve brought me back, Mum, the ship’s leaving early. I don’t get to have Christmas. Or say goodbye.’

‘Oh, love, if only we’d known. We’d have come to you.’

‘I know, Mum.’ I was sobbing now; I didn’t want to go anymore. ‘I’ll cancel the whole trip.’

‘No, Sarah, you’ve got to go. He’s your husband. You belong with Roy.’

‘I don’t want to. I don’t want to leave. It’s awful, saying goodbye like this.’ The MPs were watching me from the bar and the whole place had gone quiet, listening to my end of the conversation.

‘Now, Sarah, don’t be foolish. This is it, your big opportunity. It’s more than I ever had.’ I could hear Mum’s voice break a little, even with the poor connection. ‘You’ll enjoy this voyage. At night, look at the moon on the water for me. I’ve always wanted to be on board a ship at night, to sit up on the deck and watch the moon reflected on the water.’

‘Really?’ I had never heard Mum speak like this. I even wondered, for a moment, if it was really her.

‘Well, yes, I would have loved to travel. But Dad didn’t want to when he was home from the war. And now we’re too old. But think of all you’ll see, Sarah. Try to be brave.’

‘I love you, Mum.’

‘I love you. I’ll give the phone to Dad now. He’ll say goodbye.’

I heard Dad clear his throat; I could almost smell his cigarettes and beer from the night before.

‘Goodbye, Sar. Don’t go and start talking like one of ’em, now.’

‘I won’t, Dad.’

‘If he gives you any problems, you just let us know. We’ll figure out a way to get you back.’

‘Alright. You look after Mum, okay? And say goodbye to Fred for me.’

‘Bye now.’ And he hung up before I could tell him I loved him too, in spite of everything.

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