What else would you change? I wanted to ask, but didn’t. What would I change? There were so many mistakes, but they also led there, to her, to Hannah. Who made it all worthwhile.

‘The doctor said she might always have this disorder, it will just be a matter of how well she can manage it,’ Caroline told me, and so we figured out ways to live with it. We didn’t ask her to clear her plate. We let her eat at her own pace. We let her exercise, once we knew her heart would be okay. After returning from the first hospital stay she started running, and because it required her to be strong Caroline and I were happy with the choice. I would go to her races when I could get away from the clinic and watch her fly around the track. Her dad was always there too. I wondered how much of this could be blamed on him. The determination in her narrow face. The desire to control the world which otherwise seemed beyond her control.

She was better for so long that we were surprised when Hannah came home from her first semester of college. She had gone into pre-law. She had pledged the law sorority. She came home twenty pounds lighter than when she left, with dark half-moons beneath her eyes and an addiction to laxatives and ipecac to purge what little she did eat in the dining halls. Her new friends didn’t think this unusual. They weren’t concerned; they were envious of her self-control. Her professors only saw her grades, which were always high.

Caroline checked her in to another facility, this time a private residential clinic in Alexandria, and Hannah didn’t return to pre-law. She bounced in and out of treatment, costing us tens of thousands of dollars. There was simply no choice.

Having found my phone, I move out to the corridor, steadying myself against the wall in case the ship pitches suddenly. Hannah has shown me how to log on to wi-fi and make a call over the internet.

Caroline picks up on the fourth ring.

‘Mum?’ Her voice is sleep-heavy. The connection is surprisingly clear.

‘Sorry, love, did I wake you?’

‘It’s three in the morning! What time is it there?’

‘Not sure. Around eight or nine.’

‘Is everything okay?’

‘I’m worried about Hannah. She hasn’t eaten all day, and I’m not sure she ate yesterday either. She’s been saying she’s seasick, and I brought her crackers and Sprite, but I found the crackers in the bin later. And the sink was sticky; I think she poured the soda out.’

Caroline’s quiet for a moment. I hear her shuffling around, probably getting out of bed.

‘Shit. Is she there now?’

‘She’s asleep. Let’s not get angry with her. That won’t help, will it?’