‘Alright.’ He went slack in my arms, then hugged me tight, his arms almost crushing the air from me. ‘I love you, Suzi.’

I made myself say, ‘I love you too.’

I had, once. Perhaps I could again.

Later, as we cleaned up together for a change, him washing the dishes and me wiping the counters, Nick asked, ‘How was it anyway? Lunch?’

‘Oh . . . a bit rushed. Claudia didn’t have much time. An eat and run situation.’

‘Hmm, yes.’ He ran the tap, and said innocently, ‘See anyone from work?’

Suddenly I wanted to be sick. My hands began to shake. ‘My work? No, why?’

His voice was as reasonable as could be. ‘No reason. I just thought you might have stopped by. It’s near Claudia’s office, isn’t it?’

He couldn’t know. It wasn’t possible. ‘Not really.’

Then he said, casual-like, ‘By the way, I almost forgot: when I called the police about my phone – not that they were at all helpful – they mentioned they’d been planning to talk to us.’

Blood buzzed in my ears. ‘What? Do you know what about?’ Hadn’t I worried about this for days now, a phone call, a car drawing up the narrow lane, stopping by our door? What did they know? What had they told Nick? In all my imaginings, I had never thought he would be here when they came and not me.

‘I think it’s just routine enquiries. Some accident over on the slip road. Did you hear about that?’

I turned away, putting the plates in the cupboard. ‘I don’t think so. Recent?’

‘A few months back. A man died.’

Oh God. Oh God oh God oh God. Liquid fear sloshed through my veins. ‘Oh, that’s sad. What did they want with us?’

‘Just checking if we heard anything. Maybe you could call them back, they left a number.’

‘Sure. I don’t know how I can help, though.’

Nick looked at me, and I wanted to cry again. I had failed at being a friend, being an employee. There was nothing left of me but this house and marriage, and even that I couldn’t get right. ‘Hey, you look tired,’ he said, concerned.

I rubbed my eyes, tears just under the surface. ‘I am. I forgot how awful it is, the commute.’

‘No more trips to London for a while, I think,’ he said, and I found myself agreeing with him, the suggestion that I should no longer go anywhere by myself. This was how easy it was to lock your own jail cell, from the inside.