Conway’s visit had thrown me. He too had become a threat, not just to me but to Suzi, and therefore to the baby. I couldn’t let that happen. I’d already spent too much time picturing myself with it. Patrick’s child. Conway had to be stopped, one way or another. My mind was consumed by what he’d hinted. What did he mean? That there was something more to Patrick’s death, that it was deliberate somehow? Suicide – or even murder? But who would want to kill him? I had to know. Conway’s insinuations had taken root in me, squirming like bulbs in winter soil, rootling towards the light. Was it possible he meant something else? But no, that was insane. I had to cling on to the truth, the reality of life, out here in the dark all alone. I had to hold myself together.

When I logged on to Facebook, I saw to my surprise that Nick’s ex, Lisa Ragozzi (Italian, I thought, maybe her father’s family), had replied to my message. Guardedly, she asked why I wanted to know about Nick.

It’s really hard to explain, I answered, alone in my cold sitting room. Part of me felt sad that Suzi hadn’t come in. I would have welcomed her warm and scatty presence, after Conway’s visit. I typed, My friend’s with him and he’s – it seems like he’s been a bit heavy recently, you know?

Heavy how? I could see the little dots that showed Lisa was on the other end, and felt a surge of excitement.

Oh, you know. A bit possessive, I guess? Asking where she’s been, what she’s up to. Not giving her money, that sort of thing. I decided to go for broke. She’s pregnant so not working. I’m really worried about the baby. It just seems – like a step up to something. You know? I wasn’t naming my fear, but Lisa would understand. Any woman would.

More dots appeared. Then disappeared. Then Lisa wrote – I think maybe we should meet. You’re right to be worried.

Quickly, we arranged to meet in London the next day, on her lunch break (she worked in recruitment). It was possible she thought the ‘friend’ was actually me, but that didn’t matter. It would only suit my purposes. I made myself go to bed early, ready for the following day. I would find out more about Nick, and then I would turn my attention to Conway, and deal with him.

Suzi

Suzi

When Nick came back that night, it was to an unwelcoming house. I hadn’t pulled the blinds or turned on the lamps or set the soft music I had ready for him most nights, and worst of all, there was no dinner waiting in the Aga. I had come straight from Nora’s and gone on the computer.