When I’d paid – an eye-watering amount for what we had – I lumbered back out. I didn’t need to leave for another two hours to be home for Nick. The thought of rushing back to the quiet, insulated cottage made me gasp for breath.

We weren’t far from my old office here, near Liverpool Street. Claudia and I used to grab drinks after work, back in the old days (less than a year ago!). Before I’d fully formulated a plan, I found that my puffy, flattened feet were already carrying me there.

I was spooked, being in London. It was too easy to imagine my former self loping round a corner, late, in high heels, on my phone, my trademark silver rings flashing. I hadn’t been able to get them on in months, my fingers were so swollen. The office looked the same, the place I’d come to every day for three years, even on weekends sometimes. My hand flexed with the muscle memory of keying in the entrance code. Was it the same?

I looked at my watch – it was just 1.30 p.m., since Claudia and I had rushed our lunch. I remembered that Damian ate late, a continental affectation, and that he liked a smoke break outside. Maybe if I waited, he would come out.

I felt like a private detective on a stake-out, except I was so frumpy and pregnant I wouldn’t have been able to pursue anyone at speed. I was surprised, then pleased, that the owner of the Italian café across the road still recognised me. ‘Miss! Where you been all this time?’

‘Oh, I moved to the country,’ I said awkwardly.

His bushy eyebrows went up. ‘Why you wanna leave London?’

Well, I didn’t, Mr Café Man.

The aroma of coffee was like a drug, but I made myself order green tea. Nick was always nagging me to drink it for the health benefits, but the grass-clippings smell made me gag. I warmed my hands on the cup, staring at the door of the office across the road, the trendy lower-case letters spelling graphix box (stupid name), afraid I would miss him. I was also worried I might see someone else from the office, after I’d left under such a cloud. I could still remember the glances when I walked in the day after the alley incident, the way conversations would fall silent when I passed the break room. People knew what I’d done. It was possible someone had even told Nick. I’d driven myself insane trying to work out who – easier to walk away and leave the whole mess behind me.