There was no possibility of getting my car out. Even if it hadn’t been stuck in five-feet drifts of snow, I didn’t want Nick seeing the lights. I didn’t want him to know I was about, not until I figured out what to do. Instead I hiked down the icy, pitch-dark road, wearing my stoutest walking boots. Even then I was scared with every step. A car coming round the bend would have no chance of seeing me in time; I could be thrown off the road into the ditch, dying there in the snow, without anyone realising. Because no one would come to look for me. I had no one left.

I had gone about three yards when I saw the vehicle. It swept past me, skidding slightly, and instinctively I jumped on to the verge to avoid it. A man and a woman, both in suits. I knew immediately it was the police. Coming about what? For me, about Conway? It could have been my chance to get help for Suzi, but what would I say to make them believe me? And I couldn’t risk being arrested, not when she needed help. I crouched down, my dark coat hiding me against the bushes, and after they passed I staggered on in the snow.

Eventually, ice flakes whirling in my eyes and freezing my face numb, I made it on to the slip road, saw signs for the M25 ahead. And there it was – the tree you had supposedly died at. If it hadn’t been so dark, I would have been able to see the marks your car had left, the damage to the bark. What a risk to take. What a stupid, audacious thing to do.

As another car came past, driving very slowly, I stuck out my thumb. Hitch-hiking – what would Mother have said? Unladylike, not to mention dangerous. But I hadn’t seen Mother for over twenty years, and really, I didn’t give a fuck what she thought.

I was in luck. The driver was an elderly man, bewildered himself by the snow – glad, I think, of company to help navigate it.

‘Hell of a night to be out, love.’ He had a local accent.

‘I know. I just need to get to Guildford. It’s urgent, and my car’s stuck. Going anywhere near?’

He looked at me curiously. ‘Just off to the shops, love. What takes you there on a night like this?’

‘I have to get to the hospital – it’s my mother, she had a fall last week. The ice, you know.’

‘Treacherous it is. I’ll take you there, don’t you worry.’

‘Oh, you are kind. Thank you.’