Through my shock, I had questions. Who was at the door? Nora? If it was her, could I risk calling out? Would she even want to help me? I shuddered at the thought of the two of them in league against me. It wasn’t fair. You should have been here to help me with this, the fallout from the fire we’d so carelessly lit, danced around, oblivious to everything it was burning away. But you were dead, and I was on my own.

I worked my tongue against the rough towel, hearing a series of beeps as Nick disabled the alarm on the door. His voice was public, showy. ‘Hello, can I help you?’

An unfamiliar voice, a woman’s, said, ‘Yes, hi, we’re looking for a Suzanne Matthews? I’m DC Catherine da Souza, with the Surrey police?’

I began to pant very hard, unable to stop it. A mistake, because my mouth was filled with fabric and now I couldn’t breathe. All I could do was grunt. Would they believe me, even if they heard me? Or would Nick, with his patient rationality, make them think I was crazy, a naked soaking-wet pregnant woman? I thought of the records they had on me, the trip to the doctor Nick had forced on me. I thought how this situation could get worse – my baby taken away, me in some psychiatric hospital, or worse, stuck living with Nick for ever, only a Nick who was even more angry with me. Peering out the gap in the door, I saw the shapes of two people. Not uniformed – not the same police as before. What was this about? I could not spit the gag out. I had only forced it deeper into my mouth, and I was very close to choking. I took small breaths through my nose, which was also blocked with tears. I had never been brave, as I’d thought. Just reckless. Not brave enough to walk away from a disastrous marriage, before it was too late. Reckless enough to have an affair, and start this chain of events that had spiralled so far out of control.

‘Is something wrong? I’m afraid she’s at her mother’s. A pre-Christmas visit, you know.’ Nick sounded so plausible. I thought I was the liar in our marriage.

A man’s voice said, ‘We found your wife’s details at a possible crime scene. Her name, her address.’

A short silence. Oh God. Oh God, what would Nick do? What were they even talking about?

‘That’s strange. What crime scene?’

‘A man was found dead in Guildford yesterday – asphyxiation due to a gas fire. At the moment we’re not sure if there was any foul play, but we can’t rule it out.’

Nick said, ‘What was his name?’

I had no idea who they were talking about. Who was dead now?

‘A Dr Conway, James Conway. He worked at Surrey General Hospital.’