I thought about it for a second – leaving my home, all my things, bunking down in some hostel full of terrified women. Having my baby somewhere like that. I knew that I wouldn’t do anything, not yet. What was I waiting for? For things to get better, maybe. Hope was a dangerous thing. It could keep you going long after any realistic person would have given up and run. He left first, looking back at me anxiously, and I picked up my phone and saved his number under Andrea H, the way you had taught me to do. Another deception, another step away from Nick and I ever working things out. As I went, I dropped the leaflet into a recycling bin.

Wearily, I trailed home. Another expensive taxi, my stash almost gone. As I paid the driver, and got out into the dark cold of the country lane, snow still lying in the verges, I saw a lamp on in Nora’s house. I felt an absurd loneliness as the car disappeared up the road, its lights quickly swallowed in the dark. I stood there for a moment, deciding. Nora was behind the blank windows of Ivy Cottage. She knew who I was. She didn’t know I also knew who she was. Should I confront her, or leave things as they were? Figure out an escape plan first?

I found myself edging towards her house. Why, I didn’t know. What would I even say? I’m sorry, or how dare you, or leave me alone, you jealous hag? Nothing was right. As I grew closer, I could hear music seeping from the house, into the stillness of the lane. It was beautiful – a lullaby, like the one that had been playing in my house that day. It was so lovely I thought it must be a recording, but I looked in and saw, to my surprise, that Nora was playing an upright piano, which definitely had not been there the day before. I could see her through the window, as the curtain wasn’t pulled. The small, damp room actually looked cosy with the addition of a table lamp and a lit candle, and Nora was playing with her eyes closed, a smile on her face. Her fingers, gnarled and raw from gardening, drifted over the keys, and for a moment I realised how little I knew of her. Nothing, really, and yet I’d opened my heart to her, shared all my secrets. I was so stupid.

She saw me. I ducked back, but it was too late, and she was walking to the door. Pure panic surged in my veins, but then she opened it and I saw she was smiling, same as she always was. ‘Suzi!’

‘Oh, sorry, I just heard the music,’ I babbled. ‘I didn’t know you played.’

‘Oh yes. In fact, I played professionally.’

‘I can tell. It was beautiful.’ I was edging away.