Compulsion had got him on that plane. It was this drive that had him rise to lead jihad and be feared. Instinct and passion had been his elixir. They were what had always saved him. But this was different—needing to find the two Americans he once wanted to kill, because now he needed their forgiveness.

But would it have impact—his crisis of conscience?

He knew the impact of the evil he’d done—the orchestrated acts of terror. The impact of surrender was unknown. He knew the fever was his conscience burning with that choice. And he knew it would let him do nothing but seek forgiveness and surrender. From that there was no turning back.

He went into the bathroom, ran cold water in the sink, and washed his face.

He looked in the mirror and held onto the countertop to steady himself.

He knew he wouldn’t make it further without medical help. It was a gamble he’d have to take.

29

29

Catherine hadn’t moved. She was still in her car on the shoulder of the road. She knew whatever choice she made now would determine the rest of her life, and maybe cause her death.

She’d come upon charlatans, and those who had wanted to do her and her family harm. You don’t go unscathed when you claim to heal people and often do. Enemies flock to destroy your reputation, if not you. What would happen if anyone found out she’d had empathy for Hashim, and kept what she saw from the CIA?

Wet canvas, sawdust, and kerosene flooded her senses, and sent her back to the tents of her youth. She thought she’d eradicated that past and those traumas of the circuit she was forced on. It took years to stop feeling like a freak. And when she began to realize she could remote view, she took it as a sign to escape the rolling revival she’d been born into. But here and now she was in the midst of a new madness that had nothing to do with the ghosts of her past. Or maybe it had everything to do with it and what she’d been being guided toward all her life. It was madness, but she was overwhelmed with the need to protect Hashim. That’s when she flashed on the fact that he was no longer in the hotel, but on his way to George Washington University Hospital.

30

30

Catherine spotted Hashim sitting in the overcrowded waiting room in the ER. She knew staring would frighten him, and so sat across the room in one of the few empty chairs available and glanced his way. No one else paid him attention.

She could see he was in pain, from the way he rubbed his forehead and wrapped his arms around himself. But there were other more urgent illnesses the staff needed to attend, and so he waited.