“It hurts to talk,” Adalana said.

Dr. George tried to hide his excitement at the switch. He had wanted her to come out; he had expected it. But when it happened, it came as a surprise. “Why does it hurt?” he asked. ‘Because of the boys. I got them into trouble.”

“What did you do?” he asked.

Dorothy Turner, who had met Adalana in the jail the night before the transfer, sat by silently and watched.

“They don’t understand what love is,” Adalana said, “what it means to be held and cared for. I stole that time. I felt Ragen s alcohol and pills. Oh, it hurts to talk about it …”

“Yes, but we need to talk about it,” Dr. George said, “to help us understand.”

‘ I did it. It’s a little too late to say I’m sorry now, isn’t it? I ruined the boys’ lives … But they just didn’t understand …”

“Understand what?” Turner asked.

“What love is. What the need for love is. To be held by someone. Just to feel warm and cared for. I don’t know what made me do it.”

“During that time,” Turner asked, “did you feel warm and cared for?”

Adalana paused and whispered, “Just for a few moments … I stole that time. Arthur didn’t put me on the spot. I wished Ragen off the spot …”

She glanced around tearfully. “I don’t like to go through this. I can’t go into the courtroom. I don’t want to say anything to Ragen … I want out of the boys’ lives. I don’t want to mess them up anymore … I feel so damned guilty … Just why did I do it?”

“When did you first begin to be on the spot?” Dr. George asked.

“Last summer I started stealing time. And when the boys were in solitary confinement in Lebanon, I stole some time to write poems. I love to write poems …” She wept. “What are they going to do to the boys?”

“We don’t know,” Dr. George said softly. “We’re trying to understand as much as we can.”

“Just don’t hurt them too bad,” Adalana said.

“When these incidents occurred last October, were you aware of what was being planned?” he asked.

“Yes. I know everything. I know things Arthur doesn’t even know … But I couldn’t stop it. I was feeling the pills and the alcohol. I don’t know why I did it. I was so lonely. ”

She sniffled and asked for a Kleenex.

Dr. George watched Adalana’s face closely as he questioned her very cautiously, afraid of frightening her away. “Were there friends you found … some pleasure in? To deal with some of your loneliness?”

“I never talk to anybody. Not even to the boys … I talk to Christene.”

“You said it was during the summer that you were on the spot some of the time, and in Lebanon. Were you on the spot before that time?”

“Not on the spot. But I was there. I’ve been there for a long time.”