The writer felt this was not the Teacher, but he couldn’t be sure. Billy’s lawyer Alan Goldsberry arrived, and the writer sensed it was Allen explaining why he wanted to make out his will, leaving everything to his sister: “At school there was a bully who always picked on me. One day he was going to punch me, but then he didn’t. I discovered later that Kathy gave him her last twenty-five cents not to hit me. That’s something I’ll never forget.”

That weekend at Kathy’s, Danny and Tommy painted a mural while Allen worried about the upcoming court hearing in Lancaster. If he won, and Dr- Caul sent him to Kentucky, he knew Dr. Wilbur could help him. But what if Judge Jackson ruled against him? What if he were destined to spend the rest of his life in mental hospitals and prisons? The state was sending him hospital bills now at the rate of over a hundred dollars a day. They wanted all his money. They wanted him broke.

He couldn’t sleep Saturday night. At about three in the morning, Ragen went outside, wheeling his motorcycle silently from the house. A fog was drifting into the valley, and he felt like riding until early light. He started down the road toward Logan Dam.

He loved the fog best in the dark of night, and often he would wander out into the densest, deepest fog, whether in the middle of the forest or the center of a lake, watching the foreground blend into nothing. Three in the morning was his favorite hour.

As he approached the top ledge of Logan Dam, a narrow ridge just wide enough for his cycle wheel, he turned his headlight off; its reflection in the fog would blind him. With the headlight out, he could see black on two sides and the light strip of the ridge down the middle. He kept his wheel centered. It was dangerous, but he needed the danger. He needed, once again, to conquer something. It didn’t have to be something illegal, but every now and then he had to do something dangerous, had to feel the adrenaline pumping. He needed to be a victor.

He had never ridden the dam ridge before. He didn’t know how long it was. He couldn’t see that far ahead. But he knew he had to go across it fast enough, with high enough torque, to keep from falling to either side. He was terrified, but he had to give it one hell of a try.

He kicked off and roared down the center of the narrow ledge. When he was safely across, the turned and came back again. Then he screamed and cried and the tears rolled down his cheeks, chilled by the wind in his face.

He went home exhausted and dreamed he was shot and dying on the footbridge because the Teacher had frozen and let them all down.

Chapter Twenty-Two

(1)

On Monday, September 17, the day of the hearing, as the writer walked down the corridor of AIT and saw Billy waiting for him, he could tell by the knowing smile, the clear-eyed look and nod, that it was the Teacher. They gripped each others hands.