“I learned about it, as I learned about most other things in my life, at Harding Hospital when I was partially fused. That was Arthurs explanation to the younger ones about being in the real world.’

“What does the spot look like? What do you actually see?” “It’s a big white spot shining on the floor. Everybody is standing around it or lying on their beds near it in the dark, some watching, others sleeping or busy with their own interests. But whoever steps on the spot holds the consciousness.” “Do all your personalities respond to the name ‘Billy’ when spoken to?”

“When I was asleep and outsiders were calling for Billy, my people started answering to the name. As Dr. Wilbur explained to me once, the others do everything they can to conceal the fact that they’re a multiple. The truth about me came out only by mistake when David got scared and told Dorothy Turner.”

“Do you know when your people first came into existence?” He nodded and leaned back to think. “Christene came when I was very little. I don’t remember when. Most of the others came when I was about eight, going on nine. When Chalmer … when Daddy Chal …”

His speech grew halting.

“If it bothers you to talk about it, don’t. ”

“That’s all right,” he said. “The doctors say its important for me to get it out of my system.”

He closed his eyes. “I remember it was the week after April Fool’s Day. I was in fourth grade. He took me down to the farm to help him get the garden ready for planting. He took me into the bam and tied me to the Rototiller. Then … then … Tears came into his eyes, his voice thickened, became hesitant, boyish.

“Maybe you shouldn’t—”

“He beat me,” he said, rubbing his wrists. “He started the motor, and I thought it was going to pull me in and rip me apart with the blades. He said if I told my mother, he’d bury me in the bam, and then he’d tell my mother I ran away because I hated her.”

Tears ran down Billy’s cheeks as he spoke. “The next time it happened, I just closed my eyes and went away. I know now, from the things Dr George helped me remember at Harding Hospital, that it was Danny who was tied to the motor, ana then David came at that time to accept the pain.”

The writer found himself trembling with anger. “God, it’s amazing you survived at all.”

“I realize now,” Billy whispered, “that when the police came to get me in Channingway, I wasn’t really arrested. I was rescued. I’m sorry people had to be hurt before it happened, but I feel God finally smiled down at me after twenty-two years.”

Chapter Six

(1)

The day after Christmas, the writer drove up the long, curving road to the Athens Mental Health Center for his second interview with Billy Milligan. He had the feeling Billy would be depressed after having spent the holiday in the hospital.