“It’s just that, well, he has wanted to marry you for so very long, and you always said no before.”

“Things change, Charlotte. People change.”

“I suppose so. Only…”

“Charlotte, if you have something to say don’t you think you ought to come out and say it?”

She sits up, setting her glass down on the pale ash table. She takes both my hands in hers and squeezes them tightly.

“You simply do not look like a love-struck bride to me.”

“Oh, Charlotte, really, we are not silly girls…”

“No, listen, it’s just that I know how you look when you are in love, Lily, because I have seen it once before, and this is not the same.” She smiles at me and adds, “I have never seen anyone as infuriatingly beautiful as you were when you were with Bram!”

I keep my voice level but avoid meeting her eye.

“That was a long time ago, Charlotte. Everything is different now.”

“Is it? Are you telling me if he were to walk through that door now I wouldn’t see that same transformation in you? Because to be perfectly frank, darling, I believe you are still every bit as much in love with him as ever you were, and what you feel for Louis is not the same, is it?”

“Perhaps not,” I say, “but who is to say it is not more … sensible?”

Charlotte lets go of my hands and waves hers in a gesture of despair. “Lily, please! We are talking about being in love—I don’t see in the slightest what sensible has got to do with anything.”

I say nothing, for what can I say? I cannot tell Charlotte that, before that fateful zeppelin raid, I had myself decided I would find Bram again and tell him how I felt, because I believed love matters above all else. I cannot tell her how what happened changed things yet again. That how Lord Harcourt acted, what he was prepared to do, and what I must do to fulfill my obligations as Head Witch of the Lazarus Coven, all these things made me realize that no one but another witch could understand me. That it would be unfair, in fact, to love and be loved by a non-witch, for they could never understand the danger that surrounds me. The constant vigilance I must maintain because of what I am. Louis understands. Louis accepts all of these things, because we share that common path. Marrying Bram, even if I could find him, even if he would forgive me, even if he still wanted me, would be wrong. It would be unfair, unkind. It is better I do not see him again. Yes, marrying Louis is the right thing to do, however unromantic Charlotte thinks me. It is the sensible thing to do.

Chapter 24

24.