He hesitates, and I see how difficult it is for him to release me, to let me leave without explanation, without giving him hope that we might speak again. Slowly he lets his arms fall to his sides and takes a step back. Without another word I turn for the door.

“I will wait, Lilith,” he calls after me softly. “When you are ready, I will listen,” he says.

I do not trust myself to look back or to respond but hurry into the hall and ask the nearest maid to fetch my coat.

Chapter 10

10.

“Isn’t this simply divine, Lily? Don’t you think? I must try it on. And so must you!” Charlotte claps her hands together with glee.

I agreed to accompany my friend to her appointment with her dressmaker, but have not come with the intention of buying anything for myself. It is, however, hard to resist the seductive charms of such a place as the House of Morell, Ladies Tailor, Court Dressmaker and Furrier. In truth, I am at sixes and sevens after the events of the party. I am still aghast at the vehement persistence of the Dark Spirit, and angry with myself for allowing it to so disturb me. I must take charge. I must learn to block him from my mind, to somehow rid myself of his presence. And then there is Bram. I came so very close to revealing the truth about myself to him. Even now, without champagne to embolden me, and removed from his company, I find the thought of him stirs me. Stirs me so that I feel both joy and guilt. For, after all, I am engaged to Louis. How quickly my life has become so complicated.

“Oh, say you will try something.” Charlotte holds up the beautiful gown of peach silk and lace. “You would look wonderful in it. I know you would.”

“Charlotte. I am still in mourning.”

“Oh. Yes, how silly of me. But never mind, I’m sure Edith can find you something gorgeous in black.”

“This is your appointment.”

“Darling Lily, don’t you long for new clothes?”