Still laughing, I experience a sudden pang of sadness. My enjoyment of the ball, however much it is a welcome diversion, cannot be complete because Bram will not be there. He occupies my thoughts so very much, and I would love to dance with him, to have him hold me, in front of everyone. To have him see me in my finery. But I have not yet spoken to Louis. The fault is mine. I know I am putting off doing so, and it is cowardly of me. If Bram and I are to have a future together I must free myself from my promise to Louis. I must tell him about Bram. And I must do so before rumor and gossip deliver the news for me.

After what happened at the zoo, well, I know the only way to keep Bram safe is to keep him close to me. And to do that, we cannot continue our romance in secret. I must break with Louis. I must face Mama and tell her I intend to marry Bram.

But even then, he will not have the protection that I enjoy, because I must keep him separate from the coven. I have already broken my vows by telling him the truth about myself and by revealing what I have of the Lazarus witches. How would the coven members react were I to tell them that I have taken him into my confidence? They would be shocked. Horrified. Some might consider me to have failed in my role as Head Witch. How could I make them understand? How could I convince them that we are right to trust those who love us, and that those we hold dear are deserving of all the protection we are able to give them? I chose not to keep the fact that I am a witch from the man I love, but I must keep him from my family of witches. Must my life always be built upon secrets, secrets, secrets?