6

CANDY FLOSS CLOUDS

After the funeral Liv returned to Essie’s building to wash her face before she went home and had to pretend everything was normal to Jake and Johnny. Not wanting to face any strangers in the lift, she headed for the stairwell instead. As she trekked her way toward the top of the thirty-two flights, she regretted her choice. By the time she unlocked the apartment door, she struggled to catch her breath and her legs wobbled.

Inside the hallway, Liv held her sides and immediately noticed the brown shriveled heads of lilies strewn on the tabletop. She hadn’t returned to the apartment since Anthony told her about Essie’s death, and a layer of dust coated everything. Liv felt guilty as she picked up the flower heads. She vacuumed and wiped all the surfaces, before finally splashing her cheeks with water. It felt wrong to be commemorating Essie by cleaning.

There was a void in the pit of her stomach when she thought about the lack of a wake or memorial service. To hold her own toast to Essie, Liv found a bottle of Moët & Chandon in a kitchen cupboard and didn’t care if it was tepid.

Her bottom lip quivered as she glanced out of the writing room window at the viaduct and orange-topped market stalls below. People in the streets were as small as speech marks. She slid a copy of Few and Far Between off a bookshelf and stood it on the desk to display the author photo inside.

Liv crashed down into Essie’s writing chair with a resounding creak that filled the apartment. She half expected to hear Essie’s voice demand, “What on earth are you doing in my seat, Olivia?” But there was only the sound of a ticking clock.

Liv popped the cork, poured herself a large glass of champagne and held it aloft. “You were prickly and complicated, Essie, but you were also amazing and...you gave Georgia Rory to me, and to the world. You have no idea how she helped me to be stronger.” Her voice broke. “You’d started to show faith in me that I don’t have in myself...”