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Back The Messy Lives of Book People Save as PDF
Chapters (48)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. THE BOOK AHEAD BLOG
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. HOW I WRITE
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. THE CONSTELLATION AFTER-PARTY
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. BESTSELLER ESSIE STARLING HAS DIED
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. Acknowledgments
  47. Questions for Discussion
  48. Booklist

When she saw Essie’s handwriting, her body almost caved in. The envelope was unsealed, and her fingers felt like they belonged to someone else when she took out the letter.

Several words and sentences had been scribbled out, as if it was a work in progress. Liv knew that she had to read it, even if the words cut through her like cheese wire. If she’d managed to cover up Essie’s death for so long and complete her book, she could find the strength to do this. Her pulse galloped as she started to read.

Dear Olivia

I was once in love with a man called Grant Cooper...

Liv screwed her eyes shut, not wanting to read more, while also needing it more than anything. She wanted to screw the paper into a ball and hurl it across the room, but she kept it in her hands. She held her breath, and started the letter from the beginning.

33

THE LETTERS

Dear Olivia,

I was once in love with a man called Grant Cooper.

My health has been failing for several years and living alone has allowed me to think about the past. Probably too much. I’ve been sitting here revisiting photographs and poring over old letters. My achievements may shine brightly, but they can never make up for my mistakes and regrets. It’s strange that I’m a writer, yet I can never find the right words to say to you. They flow on paper but not from my lips. One day, I hope to speak to you in person. For now, this letter allows me to lay down my sentiments.

When I met your father, it was a meeting of minds I’d never known before or found since. We shared an intellectual connection. Quite simply, Grant Cooper was the sentence to my paragraph, the full stop to my words. I believe everyone has a small pocket of their life when everything is perfect and the sun seems to shine. Mine was when I was with him.

At first, I didn’t know he was married with a wife and child, and I admit it suited me not to ask. I laughed with him and learned from him. We challenged each other. I pictured my future with him, though I can see now my imaginings were those of a headstrong girl rather than a woman. By the time I found out he was married, I was in too deep. I was in a relationship with Anthony at the time, but my pull toward Grant was all-encompassing. I never told Anthony who had captured my heart and I’m afraid I hurt him deeply. Even though my relationship with your father never became physical, I was devoted to him.