“You know, maybe we should find Nicole? She’s the reigning queen of comfort here.”

Harlow sucked in a breath and continued wailing, right by Stella’s ear.

“Wow. Okay.”

Stella hadn’t planned on spending her night with someone else’s salt water making her skin wet and her favorite new dress soggy, but there she was stuck with no clue how to make Harlow feel better. This naive girl who got buried alive and just wanted to see her sister.

Something, Stella realized, she could actually help with. Reaching back and straining a little, she grabbed her tablet and placed it on her lap. She replayed the message Winnow had sent to Stella.

Harlow hiccuped, gasped, and amazingly stopped wailing.

Winnow must have been the most important noun in Harlow’s life. The one thing she thought about while she was underground. The only thing she needed to make her world right again.

If Stella had gotten buried instead, and if she thought for even one second that she was going to die down there, her last thoughts would have been regret.

Regret for all the things she hadn’t done, hadn’t seen. All the places she’d never been and all the people she’d never meet. All the experiences her parents had stolen from her. And all the reasons why she allowed herself to care about her parents anyway. Because living as a blank, malleable space filled with snarky rage felt best because it was easier. It made her forget and let go of all the things she wanted.

All at once she realized the world would always be bigger than her anger. And she would always long to hold it, no matter how much she tried to convince herself it wasn’t true.

“When I’m upset,” Stella began when the video ended, “I hate when people tell me it will be okay, because sometimes, it truly won’t be. When they say things happen for a reason, I want my fist to happen to their face.

“I don’t think there’s anything I could say right now to help you not hurt. I’m not good with this. I don’t know how to help you. But you’re here, and if you want me to, I will sit with you for as long as you need.” To prove her point, she wrapped Harlow up in a hug and pressed her cheek against the top of Harlow’s head. “If you tell anyone about this, I will deny it and call you a liar to your face.”

Harlow laughed, watery and breathy.

Stella navigated to Winnow’s profile page. They watched another one of her videos, but it wasn’t long before Harlow’s sobs started again.

STELLA SAYS
EPISODE 4

In the Midnight Hour