Lucy rolls her eyes. “So, what, you’re getting a B right now?”

“Whatever. I gotta go.” Chim takes off down the hallway, and I wave to her back, wiggling my fingers like Good to see ya, friend.

“Dude. You are harsh.” Lucy grabs my hand and holds it down near her hip. “She means well, you know that.”

I yank my hand out of her grip. “Yeah. I know. I get it. But, man. Sometimes I want to slap her so bad.”

Lucy snorts. “No shit. I saw you earlier. You need to chill. She loves you—she just doesn’t know what to say.” She considers me. “And you’re lucky that I got here when I did, or it woulda been detention for you, no matter who you are. You know what Rose-Brady said when they agreed to take you here: best behavior.” She taps me on my head between my eyes.

I flare my nostrils. “I know what she said,” I say. I just don’t care.

She leans in and brushes the hair off my forehead. “Hey. You look exhausted. Are you okay?” I nod, cross my arms tight against my chest. Lucy pauses, bites her lower lip, clears her throat. “May. You’re flying under the radar right now, but barely. You know this. I know this. You have to be careful. They aren’t going to keep giving you chances—even with Rose-Brady in your corner—if you can’t control yourself. Okay?” She glances down at her watch. “Shit. I gotta run. I’ll see you at lunch.”

I chew on the inside of my cheek, silent as she walks away. Repeat over and over in my head one of the many mantras the school-appointed therapist, Dr. McMillen, taught me last summer: You are safe. You are safe.

It’s not working. It never works. My heart pounds in my chest and it’s like I’m back there, in that tiny closet at Carter, sitting wrapped in a ball with my hands over my ears, trying to block out all those screams. My brother’s screams. And then after what seemed like an eternity but was probably only a minute, the screams stopped and the silence began, and it was the thickest, most suffocating silence I’ve ever heard.

The last bell rings and I jump. It’s loud and it’s sharp and I swear to god that my eardrums start bleeding, that I can feel the blood trickling down my cheeks, but when I go to wipe it away, I realize that it’s nothing more than my own tears.

Chapter Four