“How are we this morning?” Lucy, as always, is wearing black on black on black: a T-shirt of some obscure local band who will be famous by next year, and ripped leather pants. The administrations of all the local public schools outlawed that sort of clothing last year when they instituted a strict countywide dress code, but Lucy is apparently the exception to that rule. She usually is.

She hip-checks me and lays her curly brown head on my shoulder. My heart rate slows, and I remember how to breathe as some of the tension drains out of my body. My hand unflexes by my waist, and Lucy slips in a roll of Girl Scout cookies. Thin Mints. My favorite—pretty much the only thing I ate last spring after Jordan died.

I love Lucy.

“Good to see you here,” she whispers into my ear.

“Luce!” Chim’s eyes light up. Chim’s had a crush on Lucy since I can remember, which is cute when she’s not following Lucy around like a lost little puppy dog.

“Hey, Chim.” Lucy nods at her. “Thanks for coming out Saturday to see the band. Sorry we sucked. I think I might quit. I’m actually gonna go check out another band tonight; I need something new.”

“You so did not suck.” Chim’s voice is an octave higher than normal. She’s been going to Lucy’s shows since forever. I don’t think she’s missed one. In fact, I’m pretty sure she skipped her cousin’s bat mitzvah in order to make one a few years ago.

Jordan and I used to go to them, too, which was fine, until it wasn’t. Sometime during sophomore year, I started resenting the fact that Lucy always invited both of us. That my friends were our friends. Like he didn’t have enough with his perfect grades and his perfect hair and all the attention our parents poured on him. So, at Lucy’s shows, instead of hanging out with him, I would ditch him as soon as we arrived and spend most of the rest of the night out back with Chim, drinking and smoking and getting fucked-up. Basically, doing everything in my power to avoid him and his judgmental looks and making Chim come along for the ride. He started bringing a few of his friends along soon after.

I push the thought out of my head, far out, try to erase even the imprint of it from my mind.

“May.” Lucy squeezes my hand again. “Yo, the bell rang. It’s time to get to class, chérie.”

I’m startled out of my reverie. I glance around the hallway, realizing for the first time that it emptied while I’ve been deep in my own memories, obsessing.

Chim freaks out when she hears the bell. “Shit. I’m going to be late for chem again. Not that it matters; I’m basically failing.”