“Yeah—the one Adam had? I’d been planning everything for months—I couldn’t stand it anymore, any of it: The way people walked right by me in the halls like I didn’t matter. Oppenheimer always picking on me in music class. My dad—I had to show him that I have balls, that I’m not a fucking crybaby.” He growls that last word. His lips pucker and turn white. “I was going to wait a couple weeks.” He barks a dry laugh. “But after we talked, it all made sense….It was like everything fell into place. It all came together.” He pauses and looks down for a moment, and when he looks back up, there are tears in his eyes. Tears. “Sometimes I can’t believe I did all that stuff. It’s like…Who is that person? Was that really me? I don’t know. All these thoughts get twisted.” He shakes his head. “But then I remind myself of our conversation, and it all gets easier to manage in my brain.”

My eyelids flutter and my heart skips a beat. “We didn’t talk at that party.” My voice is flat. “We didn’t.” The last part comes out as a whisper, a lie that I can’t quite give up.

On the other side of the Plexiglas, David looks confused. “Yes, we did.”

The buzzing in my head grows louder. We did.

He continues, “You remember. That night. We sat out by the pool. You were crying. Miles was inside somewhere, getting drunk or doing something stupid. You said your parents never cared about you—you felt like you were invisible. You said you hated your brother—you wished he would just disappear.”

“I never said that.” I never said that. I didn’t. I didn’t.

A memory flickers at the corner of my brain.

Did I?

“So I made him disappear for you…” His voice is getting louder. “Tell me you remember, May. Tell me you’re kidding. I thought you’d be happy that he’s finally gone. You’re free.”

“No. I didn’t— I’m not—” I choke on the words. My heart is rattling my rib cage and my breaths are choppy and short. I remember Miles’s words: I saw you outside, talking to that psycho. You guys looked like you had a lot to say to each other.

I hadn’t believed him, not really. Or maybe I had, but I’d buried that belief deep in my core and ignored it, and ignored it, and ignored it, until I thought it had gone away.

But it’s right here in front of me, eyes flashing.