I withheld the remaining three packets of brown. With a butter knife I removed the lock from the toilet door and fitted it to the outside of my mother’s bedroom door.

Later, I helped her up the stairs and put her to bed. As carefully as I could, I removed my belt from around her arm, rubbing her withered skin to get the blood flowing. Irritated, she pulled away from me, and burrowed under the bedclothes like a child.

I placed three large bottles of water and a bucket on the floor by her bed. On the windowsill I put two pots of yoghurt, a banana that was already on the turn and a packet of biscuits. I stared at the snacks, knowing she wouldn’t eat them, but it felt like a nurturing thing to do. It was the kind of thing a mother would do if she had a sick child.

My mother snored and whistled, and I backed out of the room and quietly closed the door. I took a deep breath and slid the lock into place. Then I sat down with my back to the door and waited.

Chapter 14

Paula upended all her bags, checked the pockets of her jeans, her coat, the carrier bags by the bed that contained the few souvenirs she had purchased. She opened the wardrobe, rifled through the clothes in there, even checking the pockets of Tommy’s body warmer and dinner jacket.

With her hands on her hips she stood in the centre of the suite and turned in a full circle. Had she even had her phone when she went out today? She thought back, tried to remember the last time she had used it. She hadn’t pulled it out to take any photos when she was in Åndalsnes today. She hadn’t been in the mood.

Abandoning her search, she went to the sliding doors and slipped outside. The howling wind pummelled her face and she gasped and hurried back in, pulling the doors closed behind her. The ship’s horn blasted, signalling that they were about to leave port. Through the glass she stared across the narrow strip of water to the area lined with benches where she had sat earlier, and as the ship rocked gently, she groaned at the thought that her phone might be left behind on land.

Turning her back on the dockside, she ran across the room to the door and pulled at the handle again, holding her breath. When it didn’t move, she exhaled, tears spiking at her eyes. The captain’s cautionary tale over the loudspeaker came back to her: the maelstrom, the deadly whirlpool that sucked ships and passengers to their death. They were sailing near it; what if there was an accident? What if they were pulled into it? She would be left here, in the cabin, unable to get out and make it to the lifeboats.