I saw that the men here – well, they were boys, really – were nothing like those I had known in my life to date. I moved past my fear and I tried them all: the nerds, the bookish types, psychology students. On the plus side, they were attentive, kind and generous. But they were also inquisitive, nosy even. Where did I come from? What did my parents do? Could they meet my family?

I shuddered and gave them the cold shoulder. Why were my family so important? Why couldn’t they just enjoy me? Would I ever be able to leave my past behind?

But then came the athletes. The ones who hung out in the bar I worked in, and who liked to talk about themselves rather than me. And there was one in particular.

He never asked about my past or my future. He told me all about his: the powerful father, the dutiful mother, the fact that he was adored above everything and anything. He talked about the future; he had it all mapped out. He was perfect.

And then one afternoon, the phone in my halls rang. There was one communal landline for the whole floor. I never answered it. I never got calls.

‘It’s for you.’ Laurie, my roommate, put her head around the door. ‘It’s your dad.’

I didn’t correct her assumption that I had a father. As I approached the phone, I felt like I was walking to my death. For a moment I thought about hanging up without speaking, but he would call again.

‘Hello?’

I could hear him breathing, shallow whispers down the line.

‘It’s your mum,’ he said. ‘You need to come home.’

I clutched the receiver tightly and closed my eyes.

‘Did you hear me? You need to come home.’

I breathed in and out slowly, in an effort to slow the build-up of panic in my chest.

‘Okay,’ I said.

I hung up the telephone and returned to my room to pack.

Chapter 23

Paula had no idea where she was headed when she found herself swept off the Ruby Spirit. All she knew was that she needed to get away from her husband and his lies. She knew him inside out, knew that he wouldn’t come after her, that he would have enough confidence that she would be the one to give in, to return to him just as she always had in the past.

Things were changing, though, and she wasn’t sure if it was him or them or just her.

She latched onto the outskirts of a small group of people from the ship. They smiled at her as they organised themselves, and she saw they were heading out for a walk.

Fine, she thought. I’ll walk with them.