The ted breathes into the place between the door and the jamb. Long, delicate inhalations. He must have his face pushed right into the crack. It’s like he’s smelling the front door. Can he smell me? Ted has warned me over and over about how dangerous outside is. I think this is what he meant. This feels dangerous. From the living room, from the TV, the ted’s little blue coin eyes stare. “Everyone has a monster inside them,” he says.

I need to be hidden. Somewhere dark. I creep up the stairs and along the landing. Overhead, one of the attic ghosts drags a long fingernail all along the length of the floor and now I run.

I gallop into Ted’s room and shoot under the bed. I can still hear the celebrity ted downstairs on the TV, droning, talking about the bad things that people do to little teds, lecturing the empty room. Or is he talking through the door?

When I feel worried, I do one of two things. I consult the Bible, I break something of Ted’s, or I go to sleep. Fine, three things. Well, I’m not going near that Bible again. It was scary. And I have already broken the Russian doll once this week and the music box twice. I feel kind of bad about it.

So I am going to need a long, long nap. I think I have to forgive Ted, too. I haven’t really been speaking to him for the last couple days. But this has been a scary day and my tail’s gone weird. I need to be stroked.

I can’t sleep. I turn around and around and purr and close my eyes. But it all feels too wrong and my buzzing tail won’t let me rest.

TED

Olivia and I are sitting on the couch watching monster trucks when they come. I am a little worried about Olivia. She seems nervous, unlike herself. It makes me uneasy. Olivia is always OK. That’s the thing about cats, isn’t it? They don’t hold on to things.

Maybe I’m imagining stuff because I miss Lauren so much today. I know she’s better where she is, but it is very hard for a parent to be separated from their child. I call her but she’s punishing me and doesn’t answer. It’s hurtful. It’s worse than hurtful, it’s a vice prying open my heart.

I am still very upset with that neighbor lady. It’s not like I thought we would be friends right away. But I thought we could at least try. I wondered what she would look like in a dress. Something gauzy that floats around her ankles as she walks. Maybe blue. But I sat there at the bar and waited and she didn’t come. I looked dumb. The search for a friend is not going too well in general.