That thought plagued her more and more as the next few weeks ticked past, leading up to 23 March, the third anniversary of his death. The Barry family had forgone their scheduled Sunday lunch two days earlier and were meeting up to mark the occasion, so Anna had taken the day off work. About eleven in the morning she climbed into her car and headed out of London.

She glanced up at the sky as the houses and shops melted into woods and farmland. It was grey and moody, threatening rain. Disappointing, but fitting. She had mixed feelings about the day ahead. The last two years, she’d met up with Spencer’s family and they’d all just assumed they would do the same today, but now she was thinking about it, she wondered if she’d have been better off spending the day on her own. A day to be quiet and reflect might have been just what she needed.

She sighed. It was too late to change plans now, anyhow. It would be insensitive – if not downright rude – to call and say she wasn’t coming.

Her phone was sitting in a mount on the dashboard and she glanced at it. What she really wanted to do was call her mum and get some emotional support before she arrived at her destination. It would be early in Nova Scotia – not long past breakfast time – and her mother might well be up and driving to work in the nearby city of Halifax.

But Anna had to walk a fine line with her parents. It might be different if they didn’t live on another continent, but they did, and she had to deal with that. Even though it had been three years, she knew they’d drop everything to come and visit if they felt she was struggling, but that just didn’t seem fair. They had their own lives, and she didn’t want her mother to jeopardize a job she adored.

In the end, she gave in and made the call. She could edit what she said, after all, and skirt around the really dark stuff that went on in her head, as she usually did.

‘Hello, darling,’ her mum said, and Anna could hear the dull rumble of traffic in the background. ‘I suspected I might hear from you this morning, but I was going to call later if I didn’t.’ She sighed. ‘I’ve been thinking a lot about Spencer myself the last few days. You know how much your father and I adored him. I can hardly believe it’s been three years…’

Anna sucked in a breath and blinked furiously, caught off guard by her mother’s words.

‘How are you doing?’ her mum asked softly.

‘I’m… managing,’ Anna lied, but then compensated with a bit of truth. ‘But I’m not really looking forward to today.’

‘Another trip to the crematorium and one of Gayle’s buffets?’

Anna grimaced. ‘No, thank goodness. I couldn’t have faced sandwiches and finger food again this year. Maybe that’s just as well. I’m starting to find going to Gayle and Richard’s a little… I don’t know… claustrophobic.’