Why? Why was this weird?

She closed her eyes and exhaled. The truth was that she didn’t know why she was feeling this way, she just was, and it was merely the last stop in a rollercoaster of emotions she’d experienced that evening. Maybe she should just let herself calm down and tell him about it tomorrow?

Chapter Thirty-One

THE FOLLOWING EVENING, Anna wrapped herself in a warm cardigan and sat at the table and chairs on her patio. The sky was a deep indigo, a shade so rich she wished she could reach out and touch it. This had been a favourite spot of hers and Spencer’s. In the summer, they’d had long, lazy evening meals out here, laughing and talking, wishing on stars and building dreams for the future.

Those same stars twinkled at her now, but she refused to tip her head back and study them the way she’d once loved to do. She hadn’t quite forgiven them yet for not doing their jobs, for not holding onto those promises and wishes she’d given them for safekeeping, but she was coming around to it. Slowly.

She glanced down at the phone in her hand. She needed advice about something she’d been putting off thinking about, but now time was running out and she needed to make a decision. On any other day, she’d have dialled Brody instantly, but she felt bad for not calling him back last night. It was strange. It felt as if something had changed in their relationship, and she didn’t know what.

She was on the verge of putting her phone back in her pocket when she stopped herself being so stupid. Instead, she rang his number and waited for him to pick up. He always picked up, she realized. He was always there when she needed him.

‘So sorry I didn’t call back last night! I was out, and I had my phone on silent.’

‘It’s okay,’ he said, sounding grave and unreadable, as he often did. ‘Did you have a good evening?’

She swallowed. ‘Yes. I, er… I went on a date.’ She paused, grimacing slightly as she added, ‘With Jeremy.’

A silence fell, thick and hard. Eventually, he asked, ‘How did it go?’

‘Well – I think.’ Anna closed her eyes. She wished she hadn’t started this now. Her weirdness about this was obviously giving the whole conversation a funny vibe. Better to move on to another subject. ‘How are you? Is everything okay?’

‘Yes. Why?’

‘I just wondered if something was up, if you’d wanted to talk about something in particular last night.’

All Anna could hear for a few seconds was the distant noise of traffic on the main road a few streets away from her, the wail of a neighbour’s cat.

‘No. Not really.’ He paused again.

Anna frowned. She’d had the strangest feeling for a while now that Brody’s nothing was actually something, filling the spaces in their conversations he often left empty. What wasn’t he telling her?