‘I know you’ve said you’re not ready, but hear me out. Let me side with Teresa for a second, play devil’s advocate… Because it might not be a bad idea to meet Gayle and discuss how you feel, so you can move forwards without all the animosity.’

‘I know it might be helpful and, even if just for Spencer’s sake, I can’t ignore her forever…’

‘But not yet?’

‘No. I’m just still so angry with her. I can’t seem to get past it – and this isn’t me, Brody. I’m not that person. I’m not the person who simmers with resentment, who holds grudges.’

Lewis was sniffing around some bushes further down the lawn. Brody strolled out onto the damp grass, feeling the whisper of cool night air on his face. He’d been where Anna was at one point, so stuck in his anger that he’d ended up pushing everyone away. He didn’t want her to end up like that. How could he explain it to her?

Open up. Tell her the truth. Tell her something real about yourself.

Brody swallowed. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to share things with Anna. He thought about it all the time, like when he’d met the hikers the other day, or only this morning when he felt triumphant after writing a full paragraph in his notebook.

He turned back to face his cottage, his gaze drawn to the glow of warmth from his study window. It made him think of the little ‘not elf’ sitting hidden out of sight on a high shelf.

‘Grief is a funny thing,’ he began slowly. ‘People think of it as sadness, but it’s much more complex than that. It has so many layers, so many tangled emotions – including anger.’

‘I know that,’ Anna said. ‘They mention anger in every grief book out there, how you might be angry with the person for abandoning you, even if it wasn’t their fault or their choice.’

‘It goes even further than that.’ Brody took a deep breath. It was now or never, and he was about to jump off into the deep end. ‘Sometimes you get angry with other people instead. For me, it was with my parents. They tried to be there for me, but I was just so stubborn that I perceived it as meddling, and I got cross with them, and then it just… snowballed… until we couldn’t talk without me feeling a fiery ball of rage in the pit of my stomach.’

Anna made a sound of recognition.

‘Yes, I had reason to be irritated with them at times,’ Brody continued. ‘They were meddling and occasionally being a little judgemental, but the fury I felt was out of balance with what they actually said and did, which was really them just trying to help the only way they knew how. It became easier to be angry with them than to be sad about what had happened. I couldn’t see it at the time. I truly believed I was justified in taking the stance I did, but looking back, I can see that I blew it all out of proportion. Does that make sense?’