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Chapters (36)
  1. The Last Dragonslayer
  2. Copyright
  3. Dedication
  4. Practical Magic
  5. Tiger Prawns
  6. Zambini Towers
  7. About the Mystical Arts
  8. The Magiclysm
  9. Mother Zenobia
  10. The Dragon Question
  11. Patrick and the Childcatcher
  12. Norton and Villiers
  13. Mutiny
  14. William of Anorak
  15. Brian Spalding – Last Dragonslayer
  16. The Dragonlands
  17. Maltcassion
  18. Gordon van Gordon
  19. The Truth about Mr Zambini
  20. Big Magic
  21. His Majesty King Snodd IV
  22. Yogi Baird
  23. Foundling Trouble
  24. The Duke of Brecon
  25. Dragon Attack
  26. Mr Hawker
  27. Maltcassion again
  28. Sir Matt Grifflon
  29. Escape from Zambini Towers
  30. Back to the Dragonlands
  31. Noon
  32. Anger
  33. The New Order
  34. The End of the Story
  35. About the Author
  36. Also by Jasper Fforde

‘Listen,’ I said, suddenly feeling hot all over, ‘we don’t know for sure the Dragondeath is going to happen. The link between magic and Dragons is not proven, but there’s not a sorcerer in the building who doesn’t believe it’s there. There’s a whiff of Big Magic in the air, and I don’t think we should be cashing in on the Dragondeath – it’s just not what we do.’

‘Who are you to decide what it is we do?’ demanded Lady Mawgon imperiously. ‘Try as you might, you cannot be Mr Zambini, and never will be – you are simply a foundling who got lucky.’

Several of the other sorcerers winced. None of them would have gone that far. Lady Mawgon was making it personal, which it wasn’t.

‘If he’s going to die anyway it’s free cash,’ remarked Full Price, trying to calm the situation down, ‘and if the Big Magic goes the wrong way we’ll have lost out completely.’

‘The way through is clear,’ announced Lady Mawgon, even though it wasn’t. ‘We want the cheque and the time and date.’

But I wasn’t yet done.

‘We all know how premonitions work,’ I said, swallowing down my anger at the ‘foundling got lucky’ jibe, ‘and they’ll sometimes come true only by the burden of our expectation. If we sell the time and date, then the Dragon may die whether he was meant to or not. If Big Magic goes the wrong way, as Price suggests, then we may have exchanged magic for cash. I’m not sold on that, and I think many will agree. Everyone is here at Zambini Towers because of what they are or what they have been. And I think that counts for something.’

There was a pause. Sorcerers liked cash as much as the next person, but they liked honour and their calling better.

‘This is all conjecture,’ remarked Monty Vanguard.

‘What in sorcery isn’t?’ added Full Price.

‘There’s no conjecture in a cosy retirement guaranteed,’ said the half-tortoise from the eleventh floor, speaking for the first time.

We all stood there in silence for a moment, so I thought I should act. I took Trimble’s unsigned cheque from the cash tin and laid it on the desk.