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Chapters (69)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. The First Crossing
  6. Chapter One
  7. Chapter Two
  8. Chapter Three
  9. Chapter Four
  10. Chapter Five
  11. Chapter Six
  12. Chapter Seven
  13. Chapter Eight
  14. Chapter Nine
  15. Chapter Ten
  16. Chapter Eleven
  17. Chapter Twelve
  18. Chapter Thirteen
  19. Chapter Fourteen
  20. Chapter Fifteen
  21. Chapter Sixteen
  22. Chapter Seventeen
  23. Chapter Eighteen
  24. Chapter Nineteen
  25. Chapter Twenty
  26. Chapter Twenty-One
  27. Chapter Twenty-Two
  28. Chapter Twenty-Three
  29. Cross Country
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Chapter Thirty
  37. Chapter Thirty-One
  38. Chapter Thirty-Two
  39. Chapter Thirty-Three
  40. Chapter Thirty-Four
  41. Chapter Thirty-Five
  42. Chapter Thirty-Six
  43. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  44. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  45. The Woods
  46. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  47. Chapter Forty
  48. Chapter Forty-One
  49. Chapter Forty-Two
  50. Chapter Forty-Three
  51. Chapter Forty-Four
  52. Chapter Forty-Five
  53. Chapter Forty-Six
  54. Chapter Forty-Seven
  55. Chapter Forty-Eight
  56. Chapter Forty-Nine
  57. Chapter Fifty
  58. Chapter Fifty-One
  59. Chapter Fifty-Two
  60. Chapter Fifty-Three
  61. Chapter Fifty-Four
  62. Chapter Fifty-Five
  63. Chapter Fifty-Six
  64. The Last Crossing
  65. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  66. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  67. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  68. Acknowledgements
  69. Copyright

‘I’m sorry how things worked out,’ she said. ‘How…’

‘How life worked out?’

She nodded, smiled sadly. She hugged him then, embraced him tightly. He returned the gesture, felt instantly the comfort of her familiar shape and smell and touch.

‘I still love you,’ he whispered to her.

‘I know,’ she said. ‘And I still love you, too.’ she said. ‘But I have a different life now. And so do you.’

They parted, and she stood in front of him, her eyes, like his, glistening with tears, both hands on his shoulders as if she was studying him, wanting to remember every detail of his face.

‘And so do you,’ she repeated, trying to laugh, her voice cracking a little. ‘And so you should. Go. Live. Be happy.’

She moved forward and kissed him on the side of the mouth, their lips touching for the briefest moment, and he felt her tears against his cheek, his mouth and nose filling with her scent.

But she wore a different perfume now, her old scent at once as familiar and irrecoverable as the past.

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Chapter Fifty-Nine

As they passed Lady Bay, Tony watched Scotland slip away from him.

It was three weeks since he’d last seen Karen, that morning she had gone to work. She had not answered his calls, did not answer the door when he’d called. At first he’d been hurt, then angry. Now he was resigned. The place had changed for him after Martin Kelly. The country held his bones and, to Tony’s mind, that infected everything that Scotland might hold for him.

He’d phoned his father and explained that he wanted to come home. He wasn’t going to get involved in anything, he promised him. Nothing could bring Danny back, but he missed home and was ready to return.

His landlord had allowed him to leave a week early on his lease on condition he forfeited his deposit. The school hadn’t been pleased about his leaving at such short notice, but he’d lied, said his father was sick and he needed to go back to look after him. They’d accepted the excuse, albeit reluctantly. After all, if he left the country, what else could they do?

He stood on deck, the wind whipping his coat, his hands gripping the rail, his face feeling stiff with the wash of salt spray and looked forward, towards where home lay. He felt in his breast an undercurrent of dread, but above that, the small still voice of Hope that said everything would work out OK.