Mr Leigh, chubby and red-faced from the booze, led the way into the bedroom. Dora clutched on to her glass like a lifeline as she looked back at Donny. He was smiling. Sadie was right – he was pimping her. He wanted to humiliate and belittle her, to make her suffer.

That bastard.

This was going to be a long, long night.

She drank the last of the sherry before she lay down on the bed, before the touching and the kneading and the unbearable rest of it started all over again. She needed something to help her through it. And tomorrow she was going to do something. She was going to somehow end this.

75

The day after Donny’s party, when he was out at work, Dora carefully dressed herself and Angel, rummaged in the money drawer and thought that there was just enough in there to do it, and set out. She took the bus, then the Tube, then the bus again, and finally arrived at her destination.

What she was going to do was throw herself on her family’s mercy. Clutching Angel’s hand tightly, she walked along the old familiar street and opened the gate, went up the path. She felt like crying. A wicked hangover headache was making her wince, her mouth was dry with nerves, and she had to somehow make them see, make them help her, because her life had become unbearable, she couldn’t do it any more.

Her fear was that Dad was going to reject her, all over again, just as he’d always done. That he wouldn’t see Angel and soften, he would just see a bastard child, an embarrassment.

Well, she would beg. She would beg Dad to let her and Angel stay, would tell him how cruel Donny was, how evil, and then Dad would understand, he would have to see then that she needed him, she needed his help.

With a shaking hand, she knocked on the door.

She waited, terror cramping her stomach, the pain in her head awful, the words crowding into the back of her throat, she had to find the right words . . .

The door opened.

It was, to Dora’s surprise, Lil who stood there. She was wearing black.

‘Dora?’ Lil said numbly.

Dora braced herself and let it pour out of her mouth. ‘I want to see Dad. I need to ask him something, I won’t take up much of his time, can you fetch him to the door, our Lil?’

Lil stood there, unspeaking.

‘Please?’ whispered Dora.

Lil heaved a sigh. ‘Dora, it’s too bloody late,’ she said.

‘I know he’s ashamed of me,’ Dora rushed on. ‘I know that. But I’ve changed. I’ve got Angel now. And I’m in trouble.’ Dora’s voice broke. ‘Real bad trouble, Lil, I need his help.’

Now June was crowding into the doorway behind her sister. And now here was Mum, looking washed out.

‘You broke his bloody heart, you did,’ said June.

‘Yeah, but . . .’