I like to think she put it there before she fled. That maybe she didn’t really want that third death on her conscience. I don’t want to think that she simply dropped it in the panic of everything that was happening.

‘Do you or the baby need medical assistance, Elliott?’ said the policeman, a burly man with thinning hair across his scalp and large pale eyes.

I shook my head.

‘I’ll be okay,’ I said, ‘but we need to find her. We need to find my wife.’ I was babbling now, the anaesthetic of shock wearing off and leaving sharp, cold panic in its wake.

I was about to push past him again and he lifted a meaty hand to stop me. ‘Do you have any idea where she is, Elliott?’ he said, his constant use of my name annoying me now for some reason.

‘No, she could be any—’ I started, then stopped. It was as though I was in the eye of the storm now; a place of utter stillness and certainty.

I knew exactly where she had gone.

‘Her mum and dad,’ I said. ‘She’s gone to them. She always goes to them.’

DS Jin was reluctant to let me come at first, especially with Livi. I yelled that Anya would listen to me and they would only make it worse. After exchanged looks between her and the other plainclothes officer – a man about my age with glasses and a dark beard – she agreed.

We drove through the streets of Casterbourne towards Lathebridge with the siren on in an unmarked car, and two panda cars following. I cradled the baby close to my chest, silently begging her not to cry as she began to grizzle in the back of the car, wishing we could travel faster, even though the motion was making my head hurt even more, and the urge to be sick was almost overwhelming.

Faces on the streets I knew so well turned to us in unison as we sped through the town. As we shot past the road that would lead to school, I imagined being in that building on a weekday and hearing these sirens so close by. The kids would be all of a babble over it. They’d think something cool, something exciting, was happening.

As we came into Lathebridge we drove down the coast road to the house and I saw our car, parked on the drive, like she had been coming round for Sunday dinner.

DS Jin turned to me, her face severe.

‘Elliott, you’ve to stay here until we tell you, do you understand?’

I nodded miserably, and she and the other officer were out of the car as one, slamming the door behind them and hurrying up the white stone steps to the large black and stained-glass front door. They knocked and shouted that they were police but nothing happened.