I can’t have been out for that long but there was a period of time that was just a hazy hinterland between the two states of being unconscious and being awake. I was almost comfortable, stuck in this not-knowing place.

Sometimes, on the longest days, I wish I could go back there.

It was the feeling of the cold tile against my cheek that first began to feel all wrong, and then the knowledge of what had happened zapped through me like the shock of a Tasering. I scrambled onto my knees, the side of my head throbbing and tender when I gently touched it. I wasn’t bleeding, though, and I wasn’t very dizzy once the initial swoop of nausea passed.

Liam was lying just behind me, panting very softly, a dark pool of blood spreading across the pale tiles beneath him. I swore and leaned over him and his eyes flicked to me with an animal look of fear in them. He whimpered.

‘It’s okay, mate,’ I said, ‘I’m going to get help.’ I was scared to touch him, but at that moment there was a thunderous banging on the front door, followed quickly by a splintering, smashing sound and then the kitchen was filled with people in various uniforms.

Radios crackled and two paramedics immediately bent to Liam as I leaned against the sink and held my aching head.

They started throwing around words I’d heard only on television hospital dramas before, about ‘resp rates’ and ‘systolic’ and ‘cannulating’ before they were putting a needle into Liam’s arm and an oxygen mask over his face.

A policewoman – DS Jin from yesterday – was suddenly right there and she came to me now.

‘Elliott,’ she said, ‘do you need medical attention?’ Then, ‘Where is she?’

I’m still ashamed about this part, despite everything, because it was only then that I thought about Livi.

I ran out of the room, almost pushing past one of the paramedics and a uniformed male officer who called out, ‘Hey!’ as I took the stairs two at a time.

I knew Anya wouldn’t hurt Livi but I couldn’t bear to think she had been screaming, alone and scared up there. But when I approached the cot and looked down, I saw her peacefully asleep, her little cheeks red and damp. My chest flooded with hot, protective love and I lifted her up in the delicate yellow blanket that Julia had crocheted.

‘Elliott,’ said a sharp voice, and I turned to see the male uniform. Everything was too strange and confused to make sense of but it’s only now that I know they didn’t suspect me of having stabbed Liam because Liam had been able to gasp out what happened into the phone in his hand. Anya’s phone.