Jackson adjusted his frames. “’Sup, man,” he said. “You doing anything interesting this weekend?”

“Me?” said Héctor.

“Yeah. Me, Taylor, and Aishah were gonna go to this new thrift store on the other side of town. If your parents are cool with it, you could kick it with us.”

“My dad is driving,” offered Taylor.

That sounded perfect to Héctor, the exact kind of thing he missed from his old home. And with three people he actually liked?

But Héctor’s mood was growing into something dark, and he found himself shaking his head. “Ah, I’m sorry,” he said. “I have family stuff to do.”

“Okay,” said Jackson. “Next time?”

“Sure,” said Héctor, and he dropped his head and made a beeline for the gym.

“See ya!” Taylor called out.

Héctor didn’t even turn back to acknowledge him. Good job, he thought. Already pushing away the only people who actually talk to you.

That thought pressed down on him all through gym class.

Héctor was exhausted by the time Papi pulled into their driveway, and he shuffled out of the passenger seat and into the house.

“¿Estás bien, mijo?” Papi asked.

Héctor wanted to answer:

No, Papi, I’m not okay.

No, I’m so tired.

No, something is wrong. Maybe with me.

But once more, it was easier to think of the words than to say them.

He smiled weakly. “I think so,” he said. “I’m just more tired than usual.”

Papi kissed the top of Héctor’s head and guided him into the house. “You’ve been working so hard,” he said. “I officially give you permission to take a nap.”

“Come on, Papi,” he said. “I got homework to do.”

“Homework can wait,” Papi replied, and he took Héctor’s backpack from his son’s hands. “Besides, you can’t do anything truly good if your body is on empty. It’s important to refill yourself, too. ¿Entiendes?”

He was grateful for the permission, but his father’s words rang in his brain once he tossed himself onto his bed. Refill himself? With what?

The ache in his chest came back as he lay there, the one that had appeared after his conversation with Mrs. Caroline. It wasn’t just a heaviness.

No.

Empty. That’s what his heart felt like.

Héctor was torn. It was like he lived two lives, and he couldn’t tell one side about the other. Earlier that day, he’d even turned Jackson and Taylor away, despite that he had wanted to spend more time with them. It was exhausting to think about coming up with a new story to explain where he’d been, or how he knew Juliana and Sal. It was exhausting to crave the Room in places he couldn’t access it.

And it was exhausting to have to do all of this by himself.

Héctor felt terribly, terribly lonely.

Chapter Thirty-Seven