Yes, Shane Nelson did unspeakable things. But before he did those things, I had loped him.

No, I had loved him.

I look away before he can read the expression on my face. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure they bring you a tray of food.”

“Great. Thanks so much, Brooke. Really.”

“Yeah…”

He reaches behind his head for the pillow he’s leaning against, which is almost flat as a pancake. He’s trying to adjust it to make himself more comfortable on this hard hospital bed mattress. I watch him struggle for a moment, then I lean in and fix the pillow for him.

My face moves close to Shane’s as I adjust the pillow—closer than I was when I stitched up his head. I brace myself for the scent of sandalwood, but all I can smell is soap and shaving cream. The last time I was so incredibly close to him was over a decade ago. The night I lost my virginity to him. And he lost his to me.

When it was over, I felt so good. I had been so happy that this was the boy I gave myself to. I was so in love with him.

For a split second, our eyes lock together. And it occurs to me that we’re the only two people in this room. There’s a guard, and if they were a problem, he would be here in an instant, but he wouldn’t hear something quiet.

Like if Shane leaned in and kissed me.

I jerk my head back, shocked by the thoughts going through my head. What’s wrong with me? Shane Nelson tried to kill me. He’s a monster. He’s spending his life in prison for murder. Even if I could ever forgive him for what he’s done, I could never…

I cough loudly—the sound echoes through the empty, dark infirmary. “I think we’re done here.”

“Great. Thanks so much.”

“I’ll make sure you get your dinner,” I tell him in a squeaky voice that barely sounds like my own.

A smile plays on his lips. “My tacos.”

“Right. Tacos.”

“Thanks, Brooke.” His eyes stay trained on mine. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“No problem.”

I somehow manage to rip my gaze away from his. But as I walk out of the room, my sensible flats clacking against the linoleum floor, I can feel him watching me.

Chapter 19

I can’t seem to stop shaking after my encounter with Shane in the infirmary.

I have spent over a decade now hating him. Glad that he was rotting away in prison because it was what he deserved. And even when I saw him last week and confirmed that he didn’t have horns sprouting from his head or a devil's tail, I still thought of him as the man who tried to kill me.