And Shane is still very attractive. I used to swoon when I watched him running across the football field, and he’s even sexier now that he’s older. He’s more muscular than he was in high school—he must have worked out a lot in prison. He’s hard to resist.

But I can’t do this. And I better take my hand off his. Now.

When he notices I have withdrawn from him, he looks away. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

I try to keep my voice even. “It’s okay.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable at all,” he says. “I’m not going to lie—when I look at you, I want to… but anyway, that’s my problem. Not yours. I promise you, I’m going to be a perfect gentleman while I’m staying here.”

“Thank you.” I smile at him. “And you shouldn’t have any problems in the romance department. You’re pretty hot.”

He laughs. “Am I? That’s good to know.”

“I’m just saying. I don’t think you’re going to have much trouble finding a woman to make up for lost time with.”

“Hey, I don’t want some random woman at a bar that I don’t care about.” He chews on his lower lip. “I mean, yeah, it’s been a long time. But I still want it to be with someone I care about. Someone important to me.”

“Shane…”

“Like the mother of my son…”

His words stir something inside of me. The mother of my son. Shane is something to me that nobody else can be. He is Josh’s biological father. After all these years, he is the only man who can make this family whole. He wants to be here with me, and our son will never be second best to him like I feared he would be to any other man I chose to marry.

“Brooke?” he says. His eyes are filled with unmistakable lust.

“You should get to have that,” I tell him. “You shouldn’t settle. You should have that special connection.”

When he leans forward and kisses me, I don’t stop him.

Chapter 48

I wake up covered in a cold sweat.

Shane and I ended up having sex last night. I didn’t quite mean for it to go all the way, but I could tell it was what he wanted very badly, and I couldn’t bring myself to say no. After all, he had been deprived of this for ten years. You can’t say no to giving a glass of water to a guy who has been lost in the desert for ten years.

Okay, I realize it’s not the same thing. Still.